Funny story | The Soda Pop War
So me and my little brother go to play catch with my football at the basketball court, after he comes back from school on Mondays, Today it was closed because of the rain so then I went back home and we were gonna play catch in the house. Am I moment later I miss place my football 🏈, so then we have nothing to do but I improvise by going into the garage, grabbing the boxes of soda cans, and we start a fucking war in the living room through the kitchen, now he has the living and I have the kitchen. Luckily I have an advantage due to the object anatomy of my house, I have cabinets larger than my dad! I can fit in there and throw projectiles at him while he has only a sofa and a reclining chair for guard, I draw my cranberry sprite that I’ve been saving since 2019, and throw it at him, I hear a thump telling me the shot did not strike, he grabs a Canada Dry and runs across the room, dual wielding these Dry, Canadian blades of chaos and throws them both at the same time, I dive across the counter, stepping on a fork causing me to fall, luckily this saves me though as had I not moved my leg and screamed like a little bitch, I would have been struck in the leg by a Canadian bullet.
I draw a Pepsi, but secretly shake it up and loosen the cap on the bottle, Joseph failed to know this but luckily for him, the cap exploded mid air giving him 0.487 milliseconds to react and he is able to evade the air strike.
“FUCK!” I yell out loud as I progress into the next room, I hide under the dining room table as he enters the kitchen, however I throw a Canada Dry that has been shaken up and the cap unscrewed lightly, however just as he is about to step on the Canadian land mine, he notices this son of a bitch,
“You sneaky mother fucking bastard!” He yells as he throws a mountain sized dew of Yggdrasil under the table, I evade taking a plastic 14$ 25¢ plate and throw it vertically at the second shot of Pepsi within a bottle however it turns out, Joseph has used Sun Tzu’s book titled, “The Art Of War” to his advantage by analyzing my move of the explosive soda bottle as that second shot was a grenade taking the form of an innocent fucking Pepsi bottle, using my skills I learned in the football team all through high school I am able to dive into the closet with an open door for cover as though I’m tackling an opponent in football 🏈, I throw 5 Canadian land mines on the ground, of coarse, shaken and opened, on the ground for him to pass by, however I notice the table is left untouched with no bombs so I toss bombs with a mountains dew of Yggdrasil onto the table, luckily as I do this he leaps to the table as a lucky delayed reaction for me, he Janos back but lands on a Canadian explosive device, upon impact it explodes and he flys across the dinning room, using this precious time I run up the staircase buy the living room while yelling a very kind,
“Go fuck yourself you slow little shit!!!”. I’m upstairs, I have the high ground, I feel like like skywalker right now, I draw a sprite with a taste of winters byte, and shake it harder than ever and leave the cap super fucking loose, and place it at the top of the staircase. He finally drags himself up from the semen looking, Canadian soda,Throwing a Mountain Dew bottle at me I swiftly evade with a god of war like parry-/ counter attack with a squirt(yes the soda is called squirt) to him with a shaken up cap less gun, I aim and squeeze the bottle, causing the golden drink to “squirt” pun intended, the juices of this deadly acid at him, however he has also analyzed Kratos evading move from god of war 3, and evades to the right, he then jumps up and ascends the staircase from the railing, I realize that explosive Yggdrasil dew is now useless in this position hower I could have him drop as he could land on the couch, then I could carefully grab the dew grenade, and throw it down to him for his demise, this plan now perfectly burned into my brain like “Heimdall” is burnt into Durlin’s forehead, I start to change the aim to a headshot with the soda gun, however it runs out of ammo, one last attempt, I throw the useless fucking bottle at his face, and he jumps over but he steps on the bomb, I realize we’re both fucked because I’m standing right next to the flaming thing. I push him to the wall that the bomb is facing as an attempt of human shielding, and it works, however he leaps at me just as the cap explodes of the bomb, shit. He jumps at me and starts brutally beating me over the fucking crainium with a sprite CAN, not a bottle but a fucking soda CAN, and so I am left with no option but to…
TUMBLE DOWN THE STAIRCASE WITH THE LITTLE FUCKER!!! I use my weight, which is 112 pounds heavier than him, I am able to at a 180 degree angle, push us down the stairs where the dew, still oozing with Yggdrasil, is not hitting me, I throw a previously shaken up bottle from back inside the dinning room, onto the ground beneath the stairs, I jump over the railing leaving Joseph to slip and slide across the floor with his data’s to show him an anti metaphorical statement, I hit the ground and shatter my pointer fingers nail, a sacrifice I was willing to make, and run to his chamber, leaving the gate open a crack, however predicting his movements just as Joseph Jostar himself predicts his opponents lines, find where he will step next and place a land mine by the door, of coarse this bomb is Canadian why the fuck wouldn’t it be? I place more all over the room, even on his bed. He walks in to a nasty surprise meanwhile I’m in his closet with the doors shut to function as a bomb shelter from these hostile Canadian bombs, using the know your enemy move, I predict he is moving right and pretend to run at him then make a move to the left, just as a soccer player would run down the line to bring the ball to the goal for a score! He stepped on another bomb that I placed, I dive for the exit in an attempt to escape the explosion but to no prevail, I am caught in this heatwave but because there is far more soda running down Joseph’s face to blind him than me, I have my left eye to use, knowing I am left handed I Throw a well shaken pack of sodas with loose caps that I was able to duck tape together before the match as a last resort, I throw the bomb and get down on my knees and pray to god that I make it, however when it exploded the caps flew off and we were both hit in the fucking eyes. Now we have black eyes but we are healing. Please follow I work hard on these animations and I don’t get enough respect for the work I do so it would help a lot. Have a nice day and thankyou for reading:)
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