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ISFJ | 16 | filipino | they✌️ here since late 2019
doodle posting. follow my instagram for art
https://rentry.co/cocobeanz (strawpage soon)
SORRY IF I DONT REPLY TO CERTAIN COMMENTS just know that I appreciate all compliments 🥹🫶 ty
⚠️ WARNING before opening my comments, sometimes there is mild suggestive/nsfw talk or allusions to it in my rambles.... so just be warned if u decide to lurk lol
Lmao I knew you wanted to h...
Also sorry I cannot take this part seriously what was the point of the deltarune comment about us both being into it. I've been a fan since 2018..😭 SORRY I HAVE A CRUSH ON AND LIKE TO DRAW TENNA???
Lmao I knew you wanted to h...
Again!!! You coming back wasn't the problem. I'm very open to the idea of you seeking genuine reconciliation. But just going into a whiteboard and saying "hi, I have 7k followers on twitter and I drew Susie deltarune are we gang now" isn't really that good of proof of character development if I'm being honest, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.. a simple "sorry for saying racist things a while back I've changed and grown I do not think this way anymore" would have been nice maybe.
Lmao I knew you wanted to h...
Mhhmmm. Like what Luka said earlier, the person in question was a Nazi larper.. in most cases in fact I really do try to avoid getting into political debates because I would rather mind my business, block and move on but to an extent I do see your point. (even if it's a bit weak since the person in question is. a neo nazi) It was never about me trying to appear "performative" or trying to put on a saviour complex though, it's more so just me finding that guy really strange and wanting to giggle about it with my friend.
Lmao I knew you wanted to h...
Okay I get what you're trying to say here about me acting immature in this post and again, I'm sorry about what happened to you but actually fuck off. Don't you DARE talk about or make assumptions about my family like that. They did the best they can during the pandemic, my dad even lost his job. They did all they could to provide me with support, and I took advantage of their trust by not attending my online classes and being chronically online here instead. Everything I've done to you on here is my fault and my fault ALONE. Do not say things like this.
Lmao I knew you wanted to h...
Honestly, you coming back wasn't an issue in itself, for me it was the way you went about it. Deep down I have always been wanting to contact you peacefully and get closure over what happened for a few years now, but your repeated refusal to take accountable ESPECIALLY for your seasian racism in the past was what kept me from doing so.
I'm happy that you've moved past your homophobia. I'm happy that you found people one twitter that appreciate your art. But it will never not bother me that you never properly admitted to the things you said in the past.
Ughhh, fuck. Sorry if this comes off as guilt tripping or just me trauma dumping, but it's hard to be sincere without getting into all the background context to get a clear picture of what happened in my perspective. I am DEAD SERIOUS when I say that I really don't blame you at all for what happened, you were a victim of super, super gross over-dramatisation of absolutely deplorable joke. I don't find your resentment for me unreasonable in this regard, and I perfectly understand if you don't want to forgive me for this. I do have a lot more to say in regards to other things, but this really is something I've wanted to get off my chest for a while now. (4/4)
Which is why I believed them. Why I believed their jokes. I believed you were trying to groom me.
It's genuinely awful to think about. I was naive, I allowed my "friends" at the time to spread an absolutely DANGEROUS rumour about you liking me. I was genuinely scared of you, scared of the possibility of it being real even though it really wasn't- and I should have known that. Everyone believed it. It just sort of ended up as this domino effect, and I truly wish it didn't, I wish things never ended up this way. You just wanting to draw fanart for me a little eargerly never should have warranted something like that to happen. (3/4)
To be honest, I still look back at my 11 year old self with a lot of regrets and hatred, even though the circumstances were understandable given that it was the peak of the pandemic. This app was my only form of social media I could access; my parents weren't even aware that this app had posting and community features, so my presence on here was essentially a secret (And still is). Contacting my school friends became too much for my anxiety to handle, so after cutting contact with them my "friends" on here at the time were really the only bit of social interaction i had left that I was comfortable with; but in hindsight, looking back at it now a lot of them were just as equally misguided, lost, lonely kids trying to cope with the pandemic as I was. (2/4)
Lmao I knew you wanted to h...
Ah, okay. I'll stop. If genuine closure is what you want out of me, then I'll give it to you. It's only fair.
I'm sorry, I truly do regret everything from 2020. And I'm sorry it's taken this long to be concrete with you about it. (1/?)
Lmao I knew you wanted to h...
0_0! oh ok WOW u said a lot😭 sigh. I wont be able to properly respond until like 12 hours later from now because I just woke up and have to go to school soon but don't try deleting your comments or anything okayy lol😇
DID HE DELETED HIS ACCOUNT I CANT FIND IT ANYMORE🥀 I WANTED TO MAKE FUN OF HIM MORE NOOOO
bruh I got a notification earlier today that someone commented on one of my posts twice but it got deleted before I could see it.... was it on here. did abdel fucking comment a reply and then delete it. AGAIN
oh my god who's post did you see that could have possibly prompted this😭 but i agree LOL
the post where i talk to myself like a lunatic
ugh. I hate bedrotting though, I don't like the feeling of being unproductive....🙁 I'd rather do schoolwork all throughout the day than just stay at home doing nothing but doomscroll
the post where i talk to myself like a lunatic
Ughhh so much homework so much studying.. so evil... everyday i suffer. I just want to draw tenna all day🍭🍭 and play with my TOUYS
Didn't realise I commented on the wrong post instead of my actual rant one😭😭 oops