Ik it makes everyone worry
but people like you need to see anotjer day without a tear even if have to lie or hide myself

Idk i mostly lie abt my hurting beneath to make people worry less abt me or my pain

ik people many people like me and view me as legend king or whatever but jjst want everyone to go with a smile to bed i view everyone as my child

I feel like crying? Idk i.m still numb
anytime we talk i want you to feel loved
i always forget abt myself bcus everyone irl jist sees me as weak pathetic and dumb while i always want best for people even if i had to kms for them i don't want anyone in my pain trail
you really wanna know all
i have an cut on my forehead cuz i whas done living when i wjas idk 12 i have damn cuts all around my body

so you really wanna know things abt how and what
.
i almost got killed by father
i've had knifes pushed against my throat
family stealing from me
I've seen friends getting addicted to drugs
i've seen myself getting so crazy i would cut myself down below the throat
Feeling numb
playing people like puppets
using almost everyone as an tool
People i consider close friends i protect way to much bcus i.m scared they might 1 day die before i do
i've seen people getting stabbed

i won't break again i promise

if i get crazy abt my own problems
than there's nobody else that. Could help

the times i panic abt it is just a warning off me getting close to do actuall suicide so i mostly try to find help or idk

ik but you just know i.m numb and it's just the tip off the iceberg why do you think why i never rlly talk abt my problems and just bottle it up

idk you tell me? Are you more sad when i.m gone?

you'll be better off without me lmao
ngl i took way to many people under my wing
And protect them from pain and who's that to me now hm? Nobody ofc no1 will take me under their wing cuz no1 can

ik you feel kinda bad
but know you're work is one off a kind
and i really love the way you see things on the sunny side while i only think off the bad and ugly

I wish you all the luck prim
i hope you live better than me

every nightmare comming to reallity
and i.m just scared off what happens to me next it might all just end in my life

Jk i don't wan't anyone to feel bad cuz i.m gonna feel worse if i see people sad or feeling bad i just want everyone to be happy

Yeh idk u.m always there for everyone
and for the guy who deleted my acc i will be there for him when he lies 10 feet under the ground

Ik it is just over for me ik people see me as the great nice guy but idk feel like it whas bcus off my big acc maybe it whas also a big reason for a part off my depression and overthinking

Should have known no friend would take the acc cuz off respect and some idiot would take it and do something stupid

I don't really care all that much tho abt the acc and the work i still have a lot off it and i mean it whas just an acc 😭 do you think i.m gonna worry abt it

Can't do shit abt it can't login into an deleted acc damn i.m jist leavin fr here's my insta acc tho kaasplankje_donder_op