😑

Idk, I just… it’s like everything I say is just on display. My parents say i don’t have to be scared of her sharing the information and that she won’t judge, but I’m not worried about that, i don’t want to say to someone that I doubt myself, that I think of horrible things, that the only things I have when I sleep is the same fucking nightmare of that pig of a man, that i don’t have any dreams about my future but very vague things, that the only person that I can be honest to is in the other side in the world, without combusting cuz idk and trust them.

I used to dig the jocks, but now that im “friends” with them now, they are just real dicks, but that’s the jocks in my school

I feel like that was TMI, sorry

What you doin rn anyways?

Idk what she really sees or wants or anything, cuz she’s a therapist, meaning she HAS THE DIVINE POWER OF BEING A MENTAL GOD, so maybe she does want to help… but it’s just… idk, I feel more better and nice and happy when im having a conversation with someone and I get to know them better, I sorta feel criticized when im the main “problem” and needs to be addressed and fixed, I know that’s not what she wants to make me feel, but… agavauabab

Sbshauh, it’s okay <3, i felt like I rambled my balls and through them on your face expecting you to say something, lol

Bzjahahaiha, your super amazing a >:3

I do, but it doesn’t really help, and I feel like my therapist just…idk, doesn’t really wnat to help me and just want to get it over with.

See, a few countries have a “homoerotism” as an action, people can have the tension of being gay… but arw they gay? Well the word doesn’t exist, the idea is foreign. Before the Americans and Europeans opened up Japan, a lot of samurai’s were doing very gay things, like getting young pretty guys in women’s dresses to their house, and it was normal, but it was a “brotherhood”, cuz guess what happens when you put a bunch of young horny boys to train together for their whole life without a women in their life, it’s inevitable for them to feel something. Now in Philippines, it’s much more where the one who is topping is the man and “keeps” his straightness, while the one who is bottom is humiliated and get treated like a slut, its how a lot of conservative cultures deal with “gayness” when it has been there for a long time, it gets categorized and masculinized.

You know, off topic, but… people ask me if I want to be a toddler or a bit younger again, to, you know, have less worries, be happier or some freedom shit, but to be honest, I always been like this, my parents always felt something was off about me, that I was a bit dark and miserable.

Idk, why I wanted to drop that… sorry if that made you uncomfortable

Yeah, but Philippines is like early/classic medieval times, when gay isn’t who you are… but what you do, and that’s okay. Guys here are straight, very straight, but they might bang with a few guys… get freaky with their friends, describe other boys romantically or sexually, just like knights did baxk then. So the whole “being queer is a thing you are”, is a bit… ehh.

I notice im being a bit too forceful, so do whatever you wish.
But my dad always tell me “you can take a break, that’s okay, but tomorrow, you have to do it, wether you like it or not, because then you’ll never get anywhere with life with anything. Just cut it into pieces in your head, don’t think about how much work your gonna have to do tomorrow, think about how at ease you are right now, so then you can fix that block in your head for tomorrow”.

Same… but I’m also a lazy ass guy who has a dick who rather just finish half of his work, then think about history and corn, so I can’t really relate.

lol, we live in the Philippines though, it’s very easy to become anti-queer with how conservative this place is.

Yee… but like… do you need to clarify you have a life? You don’t, people understand, and if they don’t, then maybe their not worth your time- okay, maybe I gone too far there, but my point, is, people don’t NEED anything from you, they WANT YOUR ART from you, in a good appreciative way, wanting your oc drawn in someone’s art is one thing, but wanting your want to have that bordering someone’s life? They don’t have to be aware, they just have to be mindful, and I bet they are

Well my mother is also a terf, so uhh

Ye but…. Who said your obligated to anyone, you have a life. Imagine this then: if I was somehow a good artist, and I did req here, and you were one of the people I have to draw, but I have a lot going on in life, do you want me to go through that? Just to see a drawing of your oc in my art style?

Well in the end it’s fine, as my mom says, “you don’t HAVE to do your school projects and your homework… jist like you don’t have to not be homeless😊”

Iwusbjssiia, DICK BUDDIES >:3