Monologue 1: Jaws of a Beast
Eh.. It seems that you have met a-a horrible demise, my friend. But.. uh.. you know, these.. These things happen in - in life. Life goes on. Not for you, obviously, uh, you're dead, but uh.. It reminds me of a time. I was - I was having a conversation with my friend Orville. We were, uh.. we were.. - the river. We were sitting by the river watching the fish leap over the falls, and I said to Orville:
"Sometimes I feel like a fish leaping over and over again, always trying to get somewhere. No, I don't know where...or only to find to find myself in the jaws of a beast."
He, of course, looked at me.. eh.. surprised, you know?
"Have you been in the jaws of a beast, friend?"
To which I said "No, of course not, Orville."
I said "No, no, no, no, no. I simply meant that life can seem like a relentless endeavor... Overcome meaningless obstacles, only to meet an equally meaningless fate, regardless of your efforts. Regardless of the obstacles you've passed."
And.. uh.. Orville, he stood and proceeded to drape me with a picnic cloth, to which I asked him, I said "Friend, what - what are you doing?"
He looked at me... very concerned, really. "I feel like you've gotten too much sun." Indeed, heh. Indeed I had.
He proceeded to pour me a glass of... just... ice-cold lemonade... Ooh. Ever mix it with iced tea? I do like... little half-lemonade half-...oh, it's so - you should try it someti- oh, wait. You can't because you're dead. But, anyways...
So you may be asking yourself, "How did I go from sitting by the falls to drinking lemonade, to being wedged in the air duct? Not only with Orville, but with an entire assortment of fruity colored friends."
Well, there's.. uh.. There's really no good answer to that, but perhaps I've met a demise of my own at some point, and this is my afterlife or my dream - whatever it might be. I honestly don't know... Or... Maybe it doesn't mean anything at all.
Maybe it doesn't mean anything at all.