something uwu

Mom: How do you stay so slim?
My Aunt: well it’s actually quite simple- why are you laughing
Me: your stomach is telling a different story
Mom: *WHEEZE*
My aunt: well fuck you too
Me: I can’t
My aunt: ?
Me: I don’t have significant other to do that to me pwp
My aunt: And this is why you don’t go to church
Me: Oh I do! Just on Christmas though-
My aunt: You unholy child.