vent warning :)
So, I’m depressed (woohoo it was proved. fun) and I really hate my self image. It’s little things like being on FaceTime that mentally drain me. After I’m done with a FaceTime (or my therapy session, it’s on FaceTime smshwjhzsb) I lay down and burst out crying that I didn’t look good enough for the other person. I hate staring at my face, and my body. I’m going through something very hard right now. I have “eating disorders” where I don’t eat a lot because I think I’m fat, and when I think I ate too much I make myself throw up. I know it’s not healthy, but it makes me feel so much better. ALSOO I recently started to grow really tall (5’5) so I feel like I barely fit in. A fat tall nerdy person with short hair. That’s all I am to myself. I don’t give two shits about myself so I don’t care about other people. I actually started cutting myself a few years ago (I sometimes do it now, but if I’m feeling horrible) so, why am I so broken? It’s because of what happened when I was six. So my step dad and mom were fighting about how he wasn’t satisfied about sex, and he’d leave if he wasn’t soothed, so my mom washed me, put makeup on me, and then put me in a maids outfit. She let me into his room where he was naked... then... she let him rape me while she was watching. Never the same since
5 years ago 32 views 1 frames
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