I don't want to be here anymore..

I wish I never existed..
And here I am, sitting at a kitchen table, blank, but holding back tears because my mom is infront of me..
I wish I was never born..
I don't deserve all of my friends.. even with the buddy meter thing I fucked that up so badly with all of you..
I don't deserve to live anymore..
just why.. why am I so scared..
I act so tough irl.. but in reality I just want to be happy.. and get hugs from people I feel safe with..
I don't feel safe even in my own house..
even though I love being there..
I just want to be in my own room, hugging someone i love and trust..

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