meet the engineer because i cant sleep

[The Engineer is sitting in front of a blue truck, strumming his guitar. The track "More Gun" plays.]

Engineer: Hey look, buddy. I'm an engineer, that means I solve problems.

[A shot rings out and a bullet hole appears next to the Engineer's head.]

Engineer: Not problems like "What is beauty?", 'cause that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy.

[Another two bullet holes appear, on the other side of the Engineer's head.]

Engineer: I solve practical problems!

[The shot zooms out to show a level 2 sentry shooting offscreen while the Engineer takes a long drink from his beer.]

Heavy: AAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Engineer: For instance, how am I gonna stop some big mean Mother-Hubbard from tearin' me a structurally superfluous new behind?

[A level 1 sentry turns around and shoots a sniper who was trying to creep up on the Engineer from behind.]

Engineer: The answer? Use a gun. And if that don't work, use more gun.

[Another level 3 sentry fired a salvo of rockets, blowing up someone offscreen.]

Someone, probably the Scout: MY AAAARRRMMMM!!!!!

[A blown-off hand lands at the Engineer's feet, resembling that of the Sniper judging from the glove,]

Engineer: Like this, heavy-caliber tripod-mounted little-old-number designed by me,

[Engineer kicks the hand off-screen as a level 1 sentry blows it apart]

Engineer: Built by me,

[A level 1 sentry shoots offscreen]

Engineer: and you best hope;

[The Engineer's expression darkens, and he grimaces as he stares right at the camera]

Engineer: Not pointed at you.

[The shot slowly zooms out, showing the massacre ensuing around the Engineer, while an electric guitar begins to replace the melody of "More Gun"]

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