✨Comfortable Mudd✨

Screw it here's the thing

[ Alastor’s pov 2:20 pm ]
There was an unusual bustle of excitement around Pentagram City today, the news was on every tv as well. Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench were sitting and discussing a new business that was just founded near the hotel. Honestly it intrigued me to see that demons cared about something so miniscule until I listened closer.

Katie: Well Tom, it seems like this business is going to build up quickly with everyone in that line! And you can even see it pass the princesses’ garbage hotel, I bet she feels awful that it’s so terrible don’t you agree Tom?

Tom: I sure do Katie, but with all this fuss around the area I don’t think anyone will care. Because if you haven’t heard about what this place does you are missing out!

Katie: That’s right Tom! I can’t wait to see if they can successfully swap bodies, if so there’ll be a lot of demons excited to become someone else for a bit!

So that’s what has everyone so riled up? It’s funny how easy it is to get scums and nobodys to give you money nowadays, it only proves me right that stupidity is contagious. But I didn’t exactly have the time to care about it, I had to get back to work at the hotel.

[ Alastor’s pov 2:30 pm ]
Walking past crowds of demons was getting harder and harder as I tried to get to the hotel, it was loud and obnoxious to see them all gathered for something that wouldn’t work and just take their money. Caught up in my own thoughts and my goal of getting to work on time distracted me and I bumped into someone with an extremely familiar voice, he hissed as we made contact and nearly screamed when he noticed it was me. The serpent silently panicked as we stared at each other, I checked my watch and realized I only had a few minutes left to get to work at 2:35 so I quickly said “Extremely sorry for that my good sir, but I must be on my way now.” Shook his hand then left as fast as I could to get to the hotel.
[ Alastor’s pov 2:38 pm ]
I walked through the doors out of breath and somewhat lightheaded, I had to push past so many crowds I was honestly surprised I made it only a few minutes late. Thankfully Charlie is extremely forgiving and let me have a pass, after all everything seemed to be moving along quickly today.
Charlie: Well, now that you’re here Al we can start! As you all know this shmancy new place was just opened and it’s really competing with us hard-

Angel: How is it considered competition? We suck!

Charlie: * Ahem * As I was saying before Angel RUDELY interrupted me, we don’t have enough people here to keep this place holding up. Even though my dad is like the king of all Hell, it doesn’t help us with this. So Al, I’m choosing you to use your carisma to get more people!

“I am extremely glad to help Charlie, you know I did bump into Sir Pentious earlier… He might be able to help us.”

Charlie: That's great Al! But… Who’s Sir Pentious?

“He tried to blow up the hotel, remember?”

Charlie: Ooohhh, him. Why him though?

Angel: Yeah, plus you said you didn’t know him. What’s that all about?
“Well Angel I do know him, and I feel it’s rude to nose around in other people’s business.”
Angel: Eh, whatever.
Charlie: Angel, rude! Apologise to Alastor, right now!

Angel: Okay, okay, calm down princess. I’m sorry that I asked why you’re acting weird Alastor.

Again a rude remark from him but I brushed it off. “Well Angel, I accept your apology. And I am not acting weird about it, I just don't see it fit that you wish to know about personal aspects of my life.”
Angel: Personal you say? Does that mean y-

Charlie: Angel. * Charlie said in a stern voice *

Angel: Fine, sorry. * Angel said, obviously being sarcastic *

[ Sir Pentious’ pov 2:31 pm ]
I slithered around, staring at the huge crowds as they talked amongst themselves, I thought to myself ‘If I had it my way, everyone would at least be in a straight line!’ before being interrupted. I hissed somewhat in pain from someone bumping into me, I was about to speak as I looked up but froze in fear to see it was Alastor. He looked in a hurry and almost disoriented, as he looked at his watch his eyes widened a bit, he then shook my hand and jumbled words at me quickly before dashing off. That confusing encounter left me speechless and I was frozen in place, I felt eyes dart at me as demons began whispering to each other. Anxiety hit me like a brick, why didn’t I feel like this when my failure was on the news? Why did this feel so much worse? And why was this stomach wrenching feeling so awful? I’m not usually one to complain about these things, but what happened really hurt me. And made me wonder what would happen if I was Alastor, then I remembered about why the crowds were crowding, bla bla bla- But I had the chance to become Alastor! I could be the feared and respected one! Even if only for a day I’d take it in a heartbeat! But, HE had to want it as well…
[ Sir Pentious’ pov 2:40 pm ]
I sat on a nearby bench and stared at my surroundings, crowds, buildings, the hotel, Alastor walking towards me… ALASTOR WALKING TOWARDS ME!? I began silently panicking as he came closer, his smile widened as he saw me notice him and his eyes seemed to glow. Or maybe it was just me, but either way it was terrifying. He sat next to me and softened his smile much more, it looked sweet and sincere. I liked it even though I was confused about it, he began speaking and my mind spun out of control.
Alastor: Hello, Sir Pentious, I'm here to ask if you can help us. The hotel isn’t exactly up to snuff an-
“Yes.” I blurted out without thinking
Alastor: Really? I didn't even get to finish and you already accept?
“I’m sorry, not letting you finish was extremely impolite.”
Alastor: Oh, no, no, no, it’s fine. It just surprised me to see you that excited about helping with the hotel.
‘Ew, that's what I agreed to? Well, maybe if I gain his trust we could swap bodies.’ I thought to myself not realizing I spaced out.
Alastor: Sir Pentious, hello?

“Oh! Goodness, I’m sorry.”
Alastor: Oh no, it’s quite alright. But we should get to the hotel, we’re beginning to attract looks.

I nod and get up, Alastor and I walk to the hotel. I looked up, the building is much bigger than I first thought. “Is that a boat on the side of this place?” Said randomly.

Alastor: * Alastor looked up at the large ship on the side of the hotel * Yes it is.

“Huh, okay.” We went inside and everyone looked at me, it didn’t feel welcoming whatsoever. Honestly it looked like they were judging me, that same anxiety from earlier hit me.
Angel: So. You’re not here to explode the hotel?
Alastor: Angel! That was very rude, and to our new guest of all things!

Charlie: It looks like he’s frozen, I think he’s scared.
Angel: Not so high and mighty now, huh snake boy!

Alastor: Angel, Again! You really need to be nicer, today is a big day for him after all.
I didn’t say anything, honestly I felt like clinging on to Alastor in fear.
Charlie: Sir Pent, you okay?

“Hm? O-oh, yes. I’m fine.”

Charlie: I’ll go get you a room.
“Thank you.” I mumbled.
Alastor: That’s lovely. Now, Angel, you can leave now.

Angel: What if I don’t want to?

Alasor: Angel, just leave.
Angel Dust walked away and Alastor and I were alone for a brief moment, I felt safe from the torment and calm, very, very calm. Before either of us could talk Charlie slid down the stair railing with a room key and laminated schedule, she ran over to us and handed them to me.
Charlie: Alright that’s everything you’ll need, I hope you have a wonderful stay at the Happy Hotel!!!
“It says the Hazbin Hotel.”

Charlie: I know, Al changed it.
[ Sir Pentious’ pov 8:07 ]
Nothing much has happened at this point other than fixing my room up to my liking, I was honestly surprised my pipe organ fit in the room but that’s really all… ‘Maybe I could convince Alastor to try the body swap thing with me, after all the line has died down a lot.’ I thought as I layed down on my bed, I turned over nuzzling into the silk blanket. I wasn’t tired but it felt nice just to get used to the room, it was warm and reminded me of something but I couldn’t quite figure it out. Before I could think further I heard a knock on the door.

Alastor: Sir Pentious, dinners ready. Will you be joining us?
I sat up and sighed “I’ll be there in a moment.”

Alastor: Alright, feel free to take the time you need though.
“Okay, I will.” I heard him walk away and I flopped back down on the bed, ‘So this is my life now huh? In a hotel meant to redeem demons instead of my cozy Victorian mansion with my memories and belongings, just because the thought of having power for a day consumed me? I truly am pathetic.’ Lost in thought I stared above me at the chandelier, the crystals on it were a reddish magenta and every time the wind blew in through the half opened window it would make a clanging chime that echoed in my mind. I once again sat up, staring at my tail. I wondered what it would be like to have legs again, I didn’t miss it though honestly I liked my tail a lot. But I got up and slithered to the dining room before my thoughts trailed off again, it was really nicely decorated and felt very welcoming. I sat between Alastor and Charlie so it was nice, Alastor had made everything perfectly, it all tasted exquisite. I mainly spoke with Alastor, he was really the only one I could relate to well, we both had the same sense of style, we even liked some of the same music, it was all fantastic.

Charlie: Stands up * Okay everyone, sense we have our new guest I’ve decided it’s time we see what that company really does. I want to get to the bottom of it and test what they do, so Angel and Sir Pentious will be trying whatever they do out!
Angel: What-

“I-”

Alastor: Raises his hand * Charlie, if I may, I’d like to volunteer instead of Angel. I don’t believe Sir Pentious is quite prepared for his rough and unusual lifestyle.

Angel: Hey!

Charlie: That’s a great Idea Al! It means alot to me that you’re doing this for him.

Angel: Yeah, yeah, we get it. Al’s helping his boyfriend, woo so heroic.

Alastor: Puts his hands on the table * Angel that was extremely uncalled for, just because I’m the radio demon doesn’t mean I can’t be nice to someone because we’re close or it benefits me!
Angel: Oh you want me to take it back?

Alastor: Yes I do.

Angel: Slams all four hands on the table * MAKE ME!

Alastor: I̜͔̣͍ ͎̰͆̉̐J̬ͩ̽̂̄U̞̞̒̆͒ͬͪS̙̟̳̳̻͛Ť͔̲͛ ̯͔̬ͣM̩̥̂ͭ̃͛̈́I͔G͉̱̙͓͍̀HT̝͙͇̿̎

Charlie: Please, please, both of you stop! This is no time for fighting!

Alastor: Mh. Agreed, but consider yourself lucky Angel.
Angel: I-

Charlie: Al, Pent, would you two please go see what that company is up to?

Alastor: Gladly.

“Yes miss Charlie.”

Charlie: No need to be so polite, just call me Charlie.

“Understood, Charlie.”
[ No one’s pov 8:30 pm ]
Alastor led Sir Pentious to the large building, it was intimidating and somewhat scary. They went in and waited to be seen, soon a gentleman came up to them in a lab coat and yellow tinted glasses. He scribbled down something on a clipboard and held out his hand.
Baxter: twenty five dollars and I can get em’ right to you.

Alastor: Hm, a far more reasonable price than I thought it’d be. * Alastor hands the money to Baxter *

Baxter: Okay. * He puts the money away and puts down a sheet of paper * Put your names down so we know you paid.
Sir Pentious signed the paper first, then Alastor. Baxter gave them two small tablets and a receipt, he put away the sheet and looked at them.
Baxter: Okay, take these before bed and you’ll swap bodies when you’re asleep. The moment you wake up you’ll be each other. Try not to screw up the process and don’t do anything that’ll put harm to the demon you swapped with or to that demon's reputation as either trash or an amazing being of all mighty power.

Sir Pentious: That’s a lot to take in all at once.
Baxter: That’s what I said to my boss but he didn’t care.
Alastor: Okayy, we’ll be on our way now.
[ No one’s pov 8:38 pm ]
They leave the building and go back to the hotel, both extremely confused about what just happened. They opened the doors to the hotel and everyone was crowding them, talking at once.
Charlie: What happened, tell me all the details!

Angel: Are you two in each other's bodies already?

Vaggie: Why is there another idiot here!?

Husk: WHERE WERE YOU, I’M RUNNING OUT OF BOOZE!

Niffty: WhatHappenedWhatHappenedWhatHappenedWhatHappened?

Charlie: TELL US EVERYTHING!!

‘Well this is a lot to handle’ Sir Pentious thought, Alastor grabbed pent’s hand and led him through the small crowd.
Charlie: Everyone calm down, they’re probably going to tell us everything right now.

Alastor: Inhales deeply then begins talking quickly * Well, we got there and this guy in a lab coat came, we gave him twenty five dollars for these two pills to switch our bodies and said we have to take these before we go to bed, then our bodies will be swapped when we wake up in the morning. He made us sign this paper as proof that we paid for them and then he started rambling on about what we can’t do in each other's bodies, we left, came here, you crowded us, we moved Charlie told you guys that we’d explain and you know the rest. * Inhale, exhale * Good golly that's a lot of words.
Charlie: Wow, that’s… Something.

Angel: Are you sure they aren’t drugs?

Vaggie: Angel, you’re an idiot.

Angel: It’s a possibility!

Charlie: Not really Angel.

Sir Pentious: I feel like I haven’t been too important today, so I’m just going to my room if you don’t mind.

Charlie: Well-

Angel: Oh-

Alastor: Do as you need.

Sir Pentious: Thank you. * Sir Pent slithers to his room *

Alastor: I’d like to be excused as well, thank you. * Alastor leaves to read in his room *

Angel: Well, that was...

Charlie: Cute?

Angel: I was gonna say out of character but that works too.

Vaggie: Ugh, the only one that isn’t an annoyance to society here is Charlie.

Charlie: Aww thanks Vaggie.
Vaggie: Wanna go watch that new show on Netflix?

Charlie: You know it!
Charlie and Vaggie leave to their room and Angel sits at the bar and scrolls through his phone.
[ No one’s pov 11:58 pm ]
Everyone’s asleep now, the hotel is quiet and calm. Nothing but light traffic and the occasional demon walking past the hotel can be heard, it’s peaceful and everything seems perfect.

[ Alastor’s Pov 6:30 am ]
I woke up in a strange room, a magenta crystal chandelier hung over me. I sat up and looked around, there was a cabinet with a record player and multiple Victorian tea sets, on my right there was a nightstand with a dark grey tophat with an eye sitting on it sleeping, I uncovered myself from the warm silk blanket. And I had a tail, a long serpentine tail. I tried using my powers to summon a mirror but it didn’t work, I noticed my hands were covered in black scales and had pink fingers, my body was covered in scales as well with yellow patterns. It had really worked, I was Sir Pentious! And I had to learn how to slither… Oh no.
[ Sir Pentious’ pov 6:45 am ]
I woke up as usual, and sat up as usual, but my surroundings were very unusual. The windows were tinted a light crimson, there was a radio on the nightstand as well as a small box of dark chocolate, a bookshelf and a very lovely chair, next to a hand carved table that looks like it was from the fanciest furniture store that ever existed were at the back of the room and there was a shelf with dolls on them. ( Most likely voodoo dolls ) But one of them caught my eye, a small Sir Pentious doll sitting on a vanity next to a vase with a rose in it, an opened book and a glass of water. The silk crimson blanket slid off my legs as I put my knees up, which was weird since I didn’t have legs before, I looked into the mirror on the vanity and noticed I was Alastor. It took a moment for it to sink in, once it did I fell out of the bed. I got up and wobbled, trying to get used to the legs, they were long and I got a bit of a headache while getting up because I’m not used to being tall. I leaned on the nightstand while trying to keep my balance, I also may have taken one of the chocolates but that doesn’t matter.
[ No one’s pov 7:00 am ]
Charlie and Vaggie were awake and in the lobby, Niffty was cleaning EVERY SINGLE LITTLE BIT OF DUST THAT WAS THERE, Husk was day drinking and Angel was on his phone listening to music. Sir Pentious walked to the lobby very unsteadily, Alastor was still in the room trying to figure out how to slither.
Angel: Looks at Pent * Okay, either you’re Sir Pentious and the body swap actually worked or you’re still Al and you forgot how to walk.
Sir Pentious: It worked, b̻̲ů̯̿̃̅t̪͎̲͍̔ͬͥ͊̃ ̀͒ť̬͚̲̱̯ͣͥ̐h̪̩ͮ͋̔e̮̺͇̤͑ͪ̍s͔͖̅ͨ̒e̲̲ ̩̥̣̼̻͋̎l̋͌̅ͪ̍ȇ̯̰̗̱ͩg̿̿̃̒ś̤͙̦ͩ ͓͕ͩḓ̰͙̆͒͑̀̔o̰̳̰̪ṅ̼̝̰ͫt̖̑́́̓̿!̞̤͇͓̄̈ͮͭ!̮͖̣̎͒̽ͫ!ͥ̃’ Oh, that voice scared me-
Ange: Pfft- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Charlie: Angel!... Nevermind that was kinda funny-

Vaggie: Light chuckle * yeah.

Sir Pentious: Ugh, you ruffians need better manners.

Angel: OoF that shmancy victorian British talk sounds so weird as Al.

Sir Pentious: Grumbles in anger *

Alastor: Falls down the stairs * This tail is so difficult!
Angel: I- AL OH MY GOD- * Angel burst out with laughter *

Charlie & Vaggie: Begin laughing too *

Alastor: Hisses loudly * IF YOU HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS TOO YOU WOULDN’T BE LAUGHING!

Angel: THAT WAS SPOT ON AL- YOU REALLY GOT THE ANNOYING SNAKE VIBE DOWN!

Sir Pentious: Here, since nobody else cares. * Helps Alastor up *

Alastor: Thank you, I’m glad you have manners.

Sir Pentious: Uhh. You aren’t letting go of my hand.

Alastor: I know, I need balance.

Sir Pentious: Got it. Hey, did we ask if it wears off by the next day?

Alastor: No… I think it does though.

Sir Pentious: I hope so, no offence but your body is confusing. So tall and thin, I was always thin but I was pretty short when I was alive.

Alastor: Mh, I’ve always been tall. Oh, I’ve figured out how to use the hood. * He flares the hood up and rests it over his shoulders so it looks like hair again *

Sir Pentious: Wait- You said hood, right?

Alastor: Yes.

Sir Pentious: That’s the first time anyone has gotten it right.

Alastor: Really? Wow, Isn’t that something everyone should know?

Sir Pentious: You would think, but no.

Alastor: Hm. Have you tried moving the ears?

Sir Pentious: You have ears? * He tilts his head in confusion *

Alastor: Yes, those tufts of hair that stick up are covering ears.

Sir Pentious: Wow, I never knew that. * He puts his hands on the ears * Soft… I like it.

Alastor: Uhh, thanks… I don’t really know what to say now though.

Sir Pentious : Me either… Hey, how do you do the magic stuff?

Alastor: Uh, I don’t know. I guess you just snap, and stuff happens.

Sir Pentious: Snaps * Hm… Is s- * A tentacle appears from a portal on the floor * Eek! How do I take it away?

Alastor: I guess it’ll go away on it’s own.

Sir Pentious: Okay… * A few seconds later the tentacle sinks down and the portal disappears *

Alastor: See, it’s fine.

Sir Pentious: I- I guess it is. * He smiles and nods *

[ No one’s pov 7:05 pm ]
After a long day of getting used to everything their new bodies have to offer, they sat down and had a nice chat over tea. It had been a wonderfully crazy day and they decided it was time to turn in, it was early but they wanted to get back to their bodies again.

[ No one’s pov 6:00 am ]

Alastor and Sir Pentious sat side by side on the couch in the lobby, enjoying their coffee and tea while watching the news.

Katie: Good morning! I’m Katie Killjoy!

Tom: And I’m Tom Trench!

Katie: Today we’ll be discussing something that has turned up about the body swapping pills!

Tom: That’s right Katie, turns out even after it has worn off a side effect is the two people might end up swapping bodies again. Even several days later!

Katie: Mhm, so that could either be absolutely great for some people or completely terrible!

Tom: Yup. I’m sure glad I didn’t try that!

Katie: As am I tom.

Alastor and Sir Pentious look at each other, they shrug and continue watching. Honestly they wouldn’t mind it, it might even become second nature to them. Who knows they might even grow to love it, or each other.

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