I hate it when my mum says I am retreating in development

Only because I want to buy a plushie.
Why doesn’t she understand that this is who I am?
Why am I like this? Why can’t I grow up already?
Why can’t I be like everyone from my class? They grew up, not like me.
Everyone tells me that I should start doing make up painting my nails being pretty and grow up. That I should be a proper girl! When I’m just a nobody... I mean you don’t know how it is. You don’t understand. They have so big expectations on me. They destroyed my all dreams in my past! You don’t know how it feels. YOU WONT EVER UNDERSTAND HOW IT IS TO LOSE EVERYTHING AND THEN YOURSELF. To stop this I isolated my thoughts from everyone.
I locked everything I loved to myself.
Because you can’t trust anyone.
I don’t talk about what I like it who I want to be anymore because I get misunderstood or burned everytime. I LIE. I lie
Whenever I try they never support me.. they make me give up! I have several examples!
They will laugh. I’m crying. I’m just a fail.
You don’t know how much I desire to talk about the things I love with someone. Nobody knows me. Not even my family. I’m sorry for being like this
I’ll get lost now.
Sorry but I had to let it out somewhere

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