|[ š– š–»š—’š—Œš—Œ ]|

No title (vent: trigger warning)

(Legit... do me a favor and donā€™t waste time reading this...)
(You donā€™t have to... )
(Itā€™s just rambling... and either way Iā€™m okay)

Maybe Iā€™m just fine..
I donā€™t need to vent about anything... itā€™ll just be okay
Venting doesnā€™t help anything anyway...
I could make vent art, but it just makes everything worse cuz my art is trash

Maybe Iā€™m stressed...
But I mean... who isnā€™t?
Just a few too many things to carry...
School, sickness, my friends mental problems and my own mental problems...
Itā€™d probably be fine... but thereā€™s not much of a way to help with it.
Everything just makes it worse...
I disappoint myself any place I turn... I canā€™t do anything,..
I fail at everything or just give up,,,,

Maybe itā€™s because I get yelled at and blamed...
my mom is so accusatory, defensive and angry...
I get attacked for anything...
if you wanted me to feel comfortable telling you when somethings wrong you shouldnā€™t have fucked up your chances of that
But if I said that... youā€™d probably just say ā€œwell do whatever you want then.. itā€™s your problem not mineā€
Sounds like what sheā€™s say tbh.....

Maybe no one cares enough to think
Iā€™d never tell my mom anything now... Iā€™ve tried before with other things....
I attempted to talk about something important with my dad.. he didnā€™t take it seriously in any way and just said to ā€œget over itā€
I couldnā€™t talk to my siblings...
Irl.. I have one useless friend and one who just wouldnā€™t understand....
I donā€™t have anyone else Iā€™m close to...
and online... thereā€™s only depression... that doesnā€™t help
Nothing helps...

Maybe Iā€™m just useless...
In fact I know I am...
Iā€™m a perfectionist with zero determination... Iā€™ve said that before but it was taken as a joke..
I seriously am a perfectionist with zero determination.. plus zero skills..
I fail at everything...
I just do....I fail everything!
Itā€™s not even funny anymore...

Maybe Iā€™m just an liar..
I know I am.... Iā€™m pretty idiotic...
I pretend to be one way.. I lie... I hide..
Iā€™m just pretending for everyone... idek anymore!
Iā€™m never truthful with anyone
For some Iā€™m fine
For some Iā€™m absolutely miserable
For some Iā€™m amazing
For some Iā€™m better
But for everyone itā€™s just a lie

Maybe Iā€™m just mediocre..
this is my favorite...
Because itā€™s honest....
Iā€™m nothing special.. Iā€™m not important... thereā€™s nothing good about me... I canā€™t help anyone.....
Iā€™m just mediocre me.
Or... truthfully Iā€™m less than mediocre........

Maybe Iā€™m just scared...
Yeah... Iā€™m scared...
Iā€™m scared of everything... Iā€™m a wimp..
everything scares me...
I can barely handle even the smallest things....
I canā€™t wait...!
Iā€™m fucking terrified of how Iā€™ll be able to deal with bigger things!!

Maybe Iā€™m a disappointment...
To me... yes...
To others.. idk and if Iā€™m not not than I should be..
Iā€™m a mistake... a waste of time and space...

Maybe Iā€™m just empty...
But I have nothing to fill myself with...
what friends..? What family...? What...?
What love...? What happiness...?
What??

Maybe Iā€™m alone....
I have my family ig... but what does that mean when it ends up with you crying like a toddler....?
I have two friends irl.. neither are any support
I have friends online... Sure ig..... maybE.... idk...
idk.... it doesnā€™t matter anyway... Iā€™m pretty useless and completely alone anyway....

Maybe no one will read this....
it feels normal... being ignored...
And if I think Iā€™m being ignored than I should punish myself for pride...
No ones ignoring me...
Iā€™m just thinking too highly of myself so that I should get more attention..

Maybe Iā€™m bored....
Sounds simple...
but Iā€™m bored with everything... my life.. myself....
Iā€™m such an idiot... Iā€™ve made myself completely useless
I just end up wasting time...

Maybe Iā€™m depressed...
But... no one has noticed...no one pays attention...
They just take ā€œIā€™m okayā€ or ā€œIā€™m fineā€ at face value and more on...
Maybe my parents or my friends would notice... but....
Then donā€™t...
Iā€™m not okay..
But that doesnā€™t matter!!

Maybe I have anxiety...
Scared about everything.... worried..
panicked...
why do I have panic attacks about everything...?
everyoneā€™s watching...
everyoneā€™s judging...
theyā€™re all lying...

Maybe Iā€™m not suicidal...
But does that mean Iā€™m okay....?
I could just be holding everything inside and continue fighting when I know thereā€™s no point...
Iā€™ve just been raised a certain way....
I donā€™t want to keep going like this...
but Iā€™m not going to kill myself....
So you donā€™t have to worry!!

Maybe Iā€™m sick
Itā€™s been over a year... thereā€™s no answers...
I just get worse...
headaches all the time...
feeling completely feverish without having a temperature
Pain everywhere... weakness...
Breathing problems....
panic attacks
Exhaustion......
pills.
If this continues... will I die...?

Maybe I shouldnā€™t vent at all....
This isnā€™t helping anyone...
It'll just make them worry and ruin everything...
I already ruin everything but I should at least try not to...

(Repost)
(Cuz yaā€™ll need something to read while I go off myself)
(šŸ™„šŸ’…āœØ)

3 years ago   70 views   1 frames

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  Death angelo -Member of the...

UMmmmmmm coolieO

3 years ago   Reply
  Saltz

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3 years ago   Reply

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