I’m trying to keep calm while having a small panic attack

I’m trembling and shaking rn but I’m trying to make myself calm and I’m taking deep breaths , I’m hallucinating again but it’s gory or something, my thoughts just did this randomly and nobody is here to help me rn, I’m trying to be brave but god this is making me shake too much I just want her to be home with me rn I need her I’m scared to leave my room I don’t know how long this is gonna be for I’m scared and for some reason I just want to grab a blade or something sharp and idk why I just need something like that rn I can’t calm myself

I’m trying to pretend everything is ok

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