Why I am an Introvert

this might be a while...
So when I was growing up I was kinda shy, funny since I was the only shy person in my family. Ig my old man felt sorry for me when I was like 3 or 4 so he let me do whatever I wanted. He was sorry for me cuz my mother left me (thats what he would say but in reality he forced her to take my younger bro and he'd take me when they broke up). So I'd watch whatever movies or shows I wanted id eat whatever i wanted. I was a spoiled brat growing up. That was until my old man met this new girl. I thought she was alr until she started putting rules on everything. And I was like "ayo, wtf". But she put me in my place, I gotta give her a credit for that. But still I hated these rules they'd put on me and I had to follow em until recently. These were some of em:
- I could only watch G rated movies (up until I was 12)
- I couldnt listen to any music of my choice
- I was forced to go to summer camps
- I couldn't be left home alone (even when I was 12+)
The list goes on...
They always sounded and looked mad, so I'd never really talked to em much, cuz I was afraid they'd start Barkin at me or somethin. Ig I started to develop this shy Introverted personality. I never really talked more than a few seconds, I never really knew what my voice sounded like besides saying hey, thanks goodnight etc. Then thats when my communication skills sucked and my parents would always be wondering "how come he doesn't have a huge friend group". And honestly sometimes theyd come up with some conspiracy theories (they said it was facts instead of theories idk) about our world that they got from some articles and ye. I was embarrassed to walk with em in public or even talk to my friends. I honestly felt like a failed experiment and decided to live with my mother cuz i never got along with my old man and his wife. I mean my fathers a good guy but really hard getting along with, he takes things personally and i honestly hope he's alr but i wish i could've been a better son or person at least.
Thanks for listening to my Ted talk (smh 😅).
This feels like a self pity journal im exposing but idk/c at this point anymore.

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