my god im so lonely

reading fanfiction, ironically, about other people being together and happy made me realise just how alone i am in the world. how there’s nobody who’ll treat me like the fictional characters i consume like 500kg of fucking cocaine to try and forget about everything, it’s literally like a drug to me, i know it’s unhealthy. nobody will ever see me really cry, properly sob, just let it all out, break down. nobody will ever see any real vulnerability from me, and less than nobody would be willing to help me through it. i will laugh and brush it off for all that i am worth, i promise that. i will never ever as long as i live tell another soul in person how i am. i would never burden anyone with that.

i think slipping out of reality. it’s kind of pathetic, honestly. this whole post sounds like deranged fangirl bullshit, but geniunely i am spiralling.

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