Fucking crying again
My aunt was excited that her grand daughter is pregnant and I told her she seemed happy about it. She said she was and told me about how hard her grand daughters life was since her dad was in prison and her mom was deported. I’m proud of my cousin and all she’s accomplished, but it made me think, both of my parents won’t be at my high school graduation since my dad is dead and my mom, I’m not sure about her but this will be very special to me cause I’ll be the first of their kids to go to college and I would’ve liked both of my parents there. But that’s not gonna happen. I know I sound selfish for thinking about my problems while being told about my cousins own but it hurt so bad to realize that and I started to cry. My dad died before my primary school graduation so he wasn’t there. My aunt promised she’ll be there and so will my cousin Joanna. I’m happy to know they’ll be there but I still wish he could’ve been there too. I wish he never got cancer. He probably would’ve still been here. I can’t talk about him without wanting to cry. I feel horrible for making that post saying I was angry with him. Sure he wasn’t always around but he still tried to be the best dad for me and my siblings. I miss him so much. I thought I’d get over it by now but it’s too hard to let go. I miss it when he used to call me on my aunts phone and he’d call me princess and ask how I was doing. I’m often told I’m like him but it’s not in a good way. We both have explosive anger and expect people younger than us to show respect. When he died my aunt Demi and my brother Jeremiah changed so much. My aunt Demi became mean and stuck up and my sweet little brother became a horrible boy who would yell at his poor mother and insult her when she made a mistake. She doesn’t have the heart to hit him cause my dad would’ve been doing that. He never acted that way when he was alive. My aunt Demi too. She was super nice and loved me and my siblings equally. When he died she started treating me like shit and yelling at me for little things. She even laughed at me, my big sister and our two little siblings when we started to cry cause she only let us go to the beach for 5 minutes and we were at our great grandmothers house for 7 hours before that. My big sister stopped coming to the brac after that. She hates aunt Demi and wants nothing to do with her. I wish I could be like her where I don’t give shit how I make her feel but I’m soft asf. If my dad was still alive things would’ve been great. I miss him and I’m sure they do too but they need to stop acting this. I don’t want either of them at my graduation. They aren’t the only ones hurting.
2 years ago 48 views 1 frames
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