I do understand how that feels, and I wish you the best. if you need a stranger to talk to I’d be happy to try and help. I know it often feels like a burden to talk to friends and family about these things.

My mental state is pretty bad as of late but I’ve been relatively fine non the less, I just feel, Yknow numb sometimes and kinda alone lol, idk how to word it xd

That sounds uncomfortable to deal with, I hope it gets better with time. Are you at least feeling okay mentally?