Vent😍😍 even tho my acc is deader than ur straightness

I fucking hate how I’ll never be good enough for my family
I’ll always be the disappointment
My sad yells at me all the time
But never yells at my sister
My sister is aloud to vent about stuff but I’m not
Is it because she’s older?
Because my family sure acts like I couldn’t possibly be depressed because I’m only 13! (Almost 14 so shh) even though I’ve been called to the counselors at my school multiple times because I wanted to kill myself
And my friend attempted to kill someone an sis back
I can’t take it
But I can’t tell anyone about it, because who cares?
My friends don’t care
My parents don’t care
My sister doesn’t care
And the internet doesn’t care
So why should I care either?
I try so hard for what?
To be yelled at because of one mistake?
To be yelled at because “you are growing up too fast” even though my parents never tried to give me a childhood?
My parents just let me free on the internet, just let me learn about death, drugs, and the fact we are all fucked.
They act so worried when I watch stuff about drugs when they used a bong right in front of me and still has a bong in our garage
Act so worried when I would rather be alone.
Always asking “where are you going” when I am trying to go anywhere that isn’t where they are. Oh I don’t know, my room?? The basement??? There is only fucking 3 places I can go in our house. My room, the basement, and the living room. And why do you need to know? It’s not like you are talking to me. I just want to listen to music and talk to myself.
I feel like I can’t trust anyone. After my friend attempted to kill someone, I feel like I can’t trust anyone. And then on discord I get friended by someone random. And they act the EXACT same as one of my friends. It’s not even funny. And yet they say they are a different person. Do you think I’m stupid? I can fucking tell its you. Why are you lying to me? And my other friend non stop hits me and tells me I suck and I’m stupid.
I’d rather just be alone and draw while listing to music. I don’t want to deal with this shit anymore.
2 weeks ago on Wednesday I was questioned by police because my friend attempted to kill someone and they thought I was part of it. And I went to school the next day anyway. I tried to get through it. But I can’t anymore. And now my friend is out of the mental hospital and might come back to school. Guess what? I can’t do that either. I can’t do anything anymore.
I really am stupid

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