So I was looking through my old drawings on this app.
Those drawings sent so many memories and stuff through my head and it’s just super hard to explain in words, but I’ll be trying my best to explain.
My dream for some time was to become a great anime artist just so I could impress my best friend because I wanted to like me like I did. I became too obsessed with her and I forgot to think about myself. At the time I was drawing really good for my age. If you went to my second to last page, you could see all of my fave orbits drawings on there. I drew quit well for a 10 year old. At least that’s what people have said. You can see as you go page by page my drawing become worse and worse the farther you go. That’s be losing my friend. That was me losing my sanity. I started getting health issues that I still have. That was when some of my terrible syndromes started to show. Things were stressing me out. This past week I’ve gone crazy. Everything is tearing through me. For years I’ve been holding everything in. I’ve been holding in my stress i havnt cried about it for years. It is all coming back. Everything is trying to make me suffer as it tried to do before. It knows I’m not soft and weak like I was when I was five. It wanted me to suffer so it’s making me suffer. As you can see all of my drawings now are just lines and crap. I really wanted to try spending time on a drawing and the drawing I have up there is the best I’ve drawn in a while. If all of this nonesense didn’t happen, I could have been amazing at art, but look at me now. No better than I was two years ago. If you have a passion like me, don’t give up on it don’t slow down because you are getting stressed out. Work up little by little if it gets really bad, but don’t give up. I used to be a professional at contortion. I could do all of the tricks. Covid came up and I quit. Everyday I beat myself up. I regret it. My back has been hurting because I try to do it but I can’t and I’m used to being able to bend, but now when I try it, I’m just in pain. Don’t give up on something. It’s not worth the pain in the future.
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