huh. ((rant))

well I'm home from work now

so I'm gonna rant about everything since I have no one irl to talk to about this

well rant/vent/I just really need to talk and I'm too scared to talk to someone one on one bc I'm not used to that so I'm just gonna leave it here instead

so, I've already told yall why I was gone, with the new medication and stuff. for those of u who don't know, I started these new meds for depression and anxiety, and they really messed with my hormones and shit, so I was basically ready to end myself for those few weeks.. I'm doing better now tho so it's fine. but in those few weeks, one of my favorite people(online not irl)that I really really really like and I thought I would actually be happy with stopped talking to me with no explanation. I mean I get if they don't want to talk to me anymore its completely understandable, I know I get really annoying sometimes, and I don't mean to, but I just wish they would at least tell me why((ain't nothing but a heartache)). I'm not mad or anything, they aren't obligated to talk to me I'm not upset, I'm just kinds sad. a Lil hurt, but that's fine.

on top of that, we are about to be homeless. my step-dad put everything he had into this one big job, it was a massive barn that took a lot of time and money to hang and finish, not counting the extra patchwork we had to do. it took a lot of time, money, and energy to finish, but the dude didn't pay us. we were supposed to get near 3000 bucks on that job which we were gonna use to catch up on a couple months worth of rent, but now we can't. we also didn't get taxes this year because shit is confusing and everyone's an asshole. so now, we are 4 months behind on rent, we barely have enough money to live on, and we're hanging on food stamps to keep us fed. we don't even have anywhere to go if we do get kicked out, we'll be on the fucking streets.

also, I'm starting band camp soon. it's really fucking stressful because we're gonna start matching. I'm never gonna be able to remember the steps, I'm gonna trip cuz I'm a clumsy ass, we already tried the basics and I sucked at it. so that's nice and horrible.

my mom is really stressed. with everything, plus she hasn't had her own meds for a while since she ran out and we haven't been able to pay for more, so she's been kinda depressed and stressed for the past few days. and when she gets stressed, I get stressed, because she talks about all her problems with me. so I have all her weights and worries crushing me to death, on top of mine AND my step-dad's, since he talks to me while we're at work. it's it's just too much.

is that it? I think that's it.

welpp

I'm gonna go make spaghetti and cry a bit now brb
<3

2 years ago 33 views 1 frames

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