uh ignore this dumb vent

3 MONTHS IS WAY TOO LONG. I don’t know how much longer I can do this anymore. They’re all liars and he’s trying to convince me he’s not but I know he is and if he isn’t it’s just me being a bitch again. I did this to myself right? I can’t find the reason why. Why I loose everybody. I’m so confused. I hate seeing everybody happily moving on. I hate it. I HATE IT. I HATE THEM. I HATE EVERYTHING. My bf can’t even comfort me he just says “T-T” or “😭” and nothing else when I vent. I have nobody. He’s always busy. I know our relationship isn’t gonna work but I don’t know who else to talk to. I’m fucking miserable and I keep projecting it onto everybody. Why. Why me. Please god tell me why. Something. Please I’m begging you I’ll fucking do anything. Every time, after everything, they leave me. Everyone thinks I’m weird. Everyone avoids me. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I’m not even aloud to be upset because my dad will get mad at me for having any upset feeling at all if it means he doesn’t get what he wants. I fucking hate this world. I hate being a people pleaser. I have being fucking sexually assaulted for wearing shorts. Recently I can wear long sleeves in 110 degree weather. I guess it’s because im used to the warmth of someone beside me. Whether it be him or her. I feel like they are all laughing at me. I feel like they all think I’m a jealous annoying bitch who talks too much. I did this to myself. I did this to myself right? I did right? How could they do anything wrong? It’s me. It’s always me. I can’t find friends. It’s me. I’m the problem. I need to go away. Maybe I’ll just leave them alone. Why don’t I deserve happiness? What did I do? I dont understand. I’ll never understand.

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