I'm so confused anymore...I know I'm here, I can see it, but I don't...feel it. I don't feel alive and I don't know if I ever will.. I don't know what's wrong...I know I have depression and anxiety and all that but...I feel like it's more complex than that. I literally scared of everything...one of my friends could raise their hand to high five me and I'll flinch...or when I get sad one day I'm sad the rest of the week..or how art used to be my coping method but...now I don't even wanna draw. I don't wanna do anything...like it's ridiculous that I don't wanna get up and go anywhere, I don't wanna talk to people, I don't wanna be around anyone...not my friends (except for Devin, Cesar and James) I just...feel guilty about how I feel, I feel guilty that I'm scared of people, I feel guilty that I feel sad and I can't get this out to anyone else other than here because I'm scared that people will judge me and think I'm...not normal. I just wish I could change everything about me...maybe people would like me better...maybe I wouldn't be so annoying and maybe I might feel comfortable around people..I just feel like no one actually likes me...like their just putting on an act out of pitty..why can't I just be normal? I just want people to like me...I don't understand why I'm telling you guys this...yall don't care-

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