Jack: you look like a black hole that had swallowed LED lights and then shrunk and turned into marshmallow

Me: what he said:/

Me: that is him...
Jack: who the hell are you, you look like a pen that's been chewed to dust

Me: you look like a porkipine who's been stabbed either side and then been transplanted into A stick bugs body :/

Jack: you look like somebody's mopped your head but left the head and then dumped you in acid

Me: well you look like Satan expired and then burned in Oblivion-