reasoning why i was offline TRIGGER WARNING!!!

there is a triggee warning please dont scroll if youre easily triggered
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ive been on the road to recovery since march 2022, from eating disorder.
i had a relapse
in a relapse i would do things like restrict my eating, use all the time i have and blow people off to burn off calories and starve myself
i completely lose my personality and isolate myself, i cant think on anorexia brain.
i got back into self harm and i wanted to stop thinking completely
when youre starving youre not the same you get angry and cant think, but at the same time your thoughts race, if you know what i mean.
in translation, in that time i was too busy starving myself to do anything else.
theres no escuse for this but i hope what i said could be a slight explanation.