yo

so i fvcking hated today

i had to go watch my little sisters basketball practice (me, the incredibly socially awkward, fidgety, shady weirdo who doesn’t understand sports and appears at the practices randomly only to slink into a corner with my notebook and monster. headphones if im lucky)
which was shyt in itself

but then i made the mistake of being a big sister and making my dad taker her to the weird fathrs day cookout/pool party thing her team was having after the practice
he disnt want to go, partially bc he is socially anxious himself, partially bc he is just a lazy asz and a bum father, and he used MY anxiety as an excuse, even tho i stated clearly that i was too buzzed to care anyway
so i made him take us there
it was

the worst
ever

i had no corners to slink into since everything was outside at a stranger(to me)’s summer house in a community pool
i got nauseous and fidgety as soon as i got there, as usual
i didnt know where to be
i ended up going to the only corner of the large patio that wasnt packed with people
we were there for two and a half fvcking hours
it was torture

but then
since its dad day, my pa wanted to go out to eat
he took us to this chinese restaurant near us(my favorite one actually)
but i still felt sick as a fvcking dog
i thought maybe the only reason i felt so sick was bc i hadnt eaten in two days
eating only made things much worse

i ended up having to cough it all up in the fvcking public bathroom
i

i feel like falling apart currently and my anxiety spike from the stupid crowds hasnt exactly swayed yet lol
and my mouth is dry but i cant consume anything without death following suit
so
im just dead now ig

.

anyway🥰

and thats why i usually avoid being a big sister
it always bites me in the asz somehow

See all 1 comments