tiny vent

im so fucking sick of everything and nothing and im so fucking angry at myself but also not, i hate that i have the will of a god but also the will of a squashed worm and im so sick of my skin so soft like cotton fabric but so goddamn bumpy like an old fucking pillow and i know im only trapped and held back by a cage that i made myself but even so i cant get myself to get out of it and wake up one day and start being the person i want to be, and in even in my dreams i know that maybe the person i want to become isnt as good-hearted as i imagine.

i think maybe if i ran away but i got no money, noboby to stay with cause i cant get to trust people, and what if i start working? im not even 16 yet and how tf am i gonna hide a job? and what if i go live with my brother? he can barely afford to live by himself and his apartment i feel like it not only me but everything is stopping me but at the same time nothing at all.

shit.

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