part one || (hospital part) the basics of what happeend wirh my dad tw abuse, ed, sh, sui, hospitals

this was a request from a friend (idk if they want to stay annonomous of not)
ive also only really been chatting with people on the oculus and through the chat system through there
but with nothing left to do i warned you
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so he abused in many ways and sa'ed me and emotionally neglected me attepted murdered and i think like with my horrible memory it was caused by some kind of trauma and my brain trying to protect me but then when it was at a point of being so in dissosiation (i was in disosistion for so long i didnt really think or talk to anyone or do anything) that i started to remember it, and with how bad my dad was and i had to get out because i was afraid of what he was going to do next and i made a plan to stage a suicide by slitting my wrists to the point i needed stitches and im lucky i didnt hit an artery ive got photos but i wouldnt give them out (unless you really want rhem) and it was like to the yellow fatty layer and if i pushed down a little harder i wouldve probabally died i did 21 of those cuts i wasnt really thinking i guess i was so far into dissosiation i didnt have a sence of reality and didnt care if i lived or died i didnt plan to exactly do that but none of my friends were calling the police when i was saying that i was going to kill myself and so the ambulancw would take me to the hospital and so i could get help but they didnt so i yk had to do what i did and was fading in and out of consiousness at school the next day so i decided to go to the nurce because i thought i needed help and i also wanted the cuts to be recognized so i coild get out of the house and i told the nurce i thought i needed stitches so she brought me in another room and asked me to show her and i rolled up my sleeves and she asked me if i did it i was still dissosiated and had no sence of memory i knew i did it but i didnt remember snd she brought me into another room with the school phycologist and they kept asking me questions i kept saying i dont remember they put vaseline and bandages and gause on my cuts and called my mom to pick me up im really happy they called my mom instead of my dad because if my dad picksd me ip he probabally wouldve killed me because he one time said "next person who hurts themselves ill cut them to the point that they die so they van see what hurting themselves is really liek" and i didnt let that out of my mind like i belived it because one time he found our my brother was burning himself and my brother tried to cover it up like he got a bruise and he made my brother watch him as he burned himself and i tried to stop him and said that it wonr be the same on him as my brother bc he has old man hands and my brothers just a boy and he didnt do what i thought he did and he burned my brother as punishment for burning himself and anyways when i got in the car with my mom she was asking me what happened and i wasnt admitting to anything and she called my dad and i started crying and they were yelling at me like how ugly i was gonna be with ky scars and how kad they are and then they rook me to the pediatrition and the doctor looked at my cuts and asked me questions and he didnt get any answers so they rebandaged my cuts and sent me to the er and i had to wait there for hours i didnt get stitches and they did so many phych evals i never answered anything well they didnt ask my parents to leave so what else was i going to do and eventually they moved me to crisis also i wasnt able to use my phone this whole time bc i was in for a mental health reason and in crisis they layed me in a small bed in the light and phych evaled me more ofc i didnt admit to anything and my parnets werent leaving me alone and i cant do attentoon they wouldnt stop looking at me and i had a meltdown and caused a scene and it was embaressing and i tried to sleep but i just couldnt bc it was so loud and so bright and my mom wouldnt leave me all i wanted to do was be left alone then at 12:30 rhey put me in a ambulance for 2 houss ro being me to the mental hospital the parametics were supposed to comfort me and like talk to me but they didnt and i wad just balling my eyes out bc i was scared eventually we got there and they strip searched me and i got a room and they phych evaled me but did it like big phych eval and i kind of admitted to stuff now that i was alone but that dau so many people brought me into rooms rhere and asked me what was wrong and i kept saying it and they just werent listening because it was like this: "hey whats wring" "well this this and-" "no whats erong" LIKE???? god it was so bad anyways the first few days i stayed in my room then eventually i came for some groups then sometimes just stayed in the day room also i had 6 rights there i lost 4 of them in 1 week im just silly like that also i was banned from using the shitty phone bc i was like "telling my suicide cult i was going to kms when i get out of there" and they didnt let me leave until like 4 days later bc of that oh my dad thinks im in a suicide cult bc a few of my friends r depressed like????? also it was so bad i went insane i was so bored also i joined a cult the pookie cult and the girls there were in so mcuh drama with their boyfriends and i joined in with how i got a guy banned from the internet from him grooming me and i doxxed him and rold his mom they girls loved me guys also the mental hospital was so bad qualify like it had paint peeling off the walls the showers were cold the rooms wrre cold the food was cold the groups never showed up the food never showed up on time it was so bad i was in there for haloween and we werent allowed to have any candy bc of alergies and shit like??? i literally couldve killed myself there they also wouldnt help me if i was crying like one day i cried for 4 houes in a break down i made a scene becuse i thought my friend wss going to khs bc she usually tries on halloween and i thought i was a bad friend so i cried from 9-7 (10 hours) and no one askdd me if i wanted to talk or if i wanted a hug they just "checks" and closed the door anyways i thretened my mom thag i woild starve myself until i get out snd she took me out a few days later but thatd not it bc then i had another hospital to go to (next part)

3 months ago 18 views 1 frames

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