part two (partial hospital and therapy and out patent) what happened and why i dont go to my dads house anymore (requested) tw sui sh ed abuse hospitals

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so i waited like a week to get into a partial impatent hospital it wad from 9-2 and was for kids from 5-23 i stayed there for like 3 weeks bc i kept saying i was gonna kms and they told everything i told them dangerous or not to my mom the schedule was morning meeting, school work, snack, group, lunch, art, gym, and it wasnt as bad as the mental hospital but better than school it wasnt really that bad once i got to school i had a meeting with guidence and people were asking me why i was gone so long and what happened and i todl them i got sick and they wouldnt belive me snd it was so annoying like they cant take the hint i dont want to talk about it? so school was normal but i had more time for homework snd stuff bc they understood how behind i am but the gym teacher didnt give a shit she gave me all e's liek???? then when i came back to school "oh hi logan ☺️" LIKE NO. FIX MY FGADE.
anyways i dont go to my dads house anymore and hes been pretty good at giving me space but lately hes been threatening me, first last week he picked me up in his car for school when i thought he was my stepmom and i told him i dont want him in my life and that he needs therapy and he sounded accepting but after school he was taking my brother for a haircut and he followed me in his truck for miles trying to talk to me and it was creepy as shit and i told him to fuck off and then at night he sent me this: "Okay Logan I'm done playing games I did nothing to you. I will have the courts make you come home and show them the text messages from (bsf) and no you two won't be friends any longer. This is not fair how you treat me. I have given you my all your whole life. I am your father." and i was fucking scared and tried to get him to stop and so i said "what did i even do to you" "you arent in my life anymore i told you to get therapy ghen id talk to you and youre harassing me calling me everyday when i clearly donr want you to and (bsf) didnt do anything you blame it on everything else because you cant accept that youre a bad father and that you messed up its because youre a narc you think youre perfect and that you cant do anything wrong while ive had to endure trauma with you when its "not that bad" convincing myself that its "not that bad" when it made me want to kill myself you dont reemmber since i was 11 telling you to stop and that i want to kill myself because of you and how abusive you are?" "youre messed up in the head seriously, (dads name), you need help but you didnt get any and im messed up in the head getting triggered and distancing myself from everything for hours and not being able to be a normal teenager with how traumatizef i am but noo (bsf) did all this whatever this shows the kind of person you really are i tried to try anf forgove you but i wont ever forgive you you abused me and i dont want you in my life anymore i literally was begging mom for 5 years to take me out of your house and had to cut the heck out of my arm to get out but still that doesnt get rid of you can you just leave me alone and stop harassing me"
and so he said
"What did you do to me????? What did I do to you besides stick up.for you your entire life. Never punish you. Be there for you. Sacrifice everything for you. Even now I am here for you as you treat me like this and for what? What did I do to you? I got divorced. Yes. I fought with my wife yes. I defended you and fought for you. Yes. I went to every dance class,every soccer game every school event every basketball game and I have cheered you on no matter what and this is how you treat me? Nope Logan you are a child,my child and I'm done walking on egg shells you can come home and give me respect or the courts will make you" "Logan how exactly did I traumatize you???? Seriously? It's all (bsf) in your head. Congratulations yes I will have her arrested because I have your book with you writing her telling you to hurt yourself as well as your phone messages that's erased." "You blame me! I have devoted my life to you and (brothers name) and will always put you two before myself. So again what did I do besides love you? Oh I know I threatened to take away your phone. Yup bad dad. You're right. Oh wait I have also supported everything you have wanted to do. Yup,bad dad. Left work early to pick you up with your favorite candy. Yup bad dad. Begged for time with you, totally annoying dad. I got it." so i cried and was so scared and showed my mom she told me its fine and then my bsf stafted getting messages from my dad once i blocked him he sent her voicemails threatening her like threatening to hurt and kill her and hes buying plane tickets to her he doxxed her and has been sending her her personal information and its fucking creepy and now hes telling my mom tbat hes going to take me to court and shit also for clarence my bsf didnt do anything hes just blaming it on anyrhing he can because hes fucked up and im kind of paranoid now (ive been paranoid but now abt him) because i think hes going to hunt me and kill me and also me leaving his house its given me some kind of survivors guilt like i got out of the abusive household while orhers didnt and my brothers been telling me anr how much my dads been abusing and threataning him and asking why he cut me and he liyerally didnt and i just feel bad and my therapist ajd everyones been saying its not that bad and that i shouldve stayed in the house no one knows he abused me but still thats insencitive like its clear by me and how i interact with people that i have a few screws loose and am traumatized and they just arent recogizing that
anyways thats where i am now

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