tw; vent/rant

I hate this, i feel myself getting worse again but there is nothing that I can do about it, i want to be happy but it feels like I just can’t. some of my friends are shit, whenever i try to vent nor rant to them they just say ‘real’ even my best friend doesn’t comfort me anymore. I sometimes wish I never stopped self harming because then I could just do it right now, but I already stopped and I’m too scared to start again, yet I want to self harm again just to feel something. thought id be clean for 1 or 2 weeks but i guess not. its so tempting

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