I'm sleeping less to try to get worse

I don't want to go to tomorrow, it's just the same, it's a damn loop, everything repeats and will repeat until I commit suicide, my life gets grayer every week, I just want to be dreaming for a long time, I wouldn't want to wake up from my dreams, even though I don't dream at all at this point. Hehhh..

Sometimes I want to be brutally and slowly murdered by my characters, It's a very strange like.