inner fight

sometimes i feel insecure about my weight because my family makes a lot of comments on it

the worst thing is my doctor congratulated me for barely making it to being healthy 2 years ago

4 years ago i was under 100lbs and I was labeled as a 11 on the BMI index

i am currently 126 pounds, it's a lot of weight to gain considering only 2022 i was still barely 108 pounds

i feel good about my body most of the time because it makes me feel more masculine, but I can't help but want to go back to being dangerously underweight again
words from family doesn't exactly make me feel pretty but it's my body, why should I care that I'm not as thin as I used to be or as feminine as I was?
i want to gain muscle, bulk, do all the things other guys do but I was really set up for failure

the doctor was happy telling me that I finally passed a point where I'm not concerningly underweight
looking at old photos of me make me feel sick sometimes

i looked so thin so malurished