Haaa… (poetry)

Here i lay conscious of everything and everyone around me crying confused and worrying
Will i be okay? Will i love to see another day? I question it everyday more then the previous but upon my obliviousness im still here alone to think by myself
Its funny as i say im fine yet my condition worsens and yet mentally i dont feel it
Im happy as can be but physically in a sorrow
Albuterol being pumped into my system via IV as i got into an acute attack
Panicking panicking
I cant see i cant hear i cant feel
Im holding on as hard as i can seeing the people around my bed wonder if im okay while wondering the same
Im happy but it hurts to see them worry
I love them and i dont want it to disdain them
But as my physical condition worsens i can only hope an iv and a hospital room can save me from my own physical inferiority
You ask as though im fine and i say yes
Im okay
Of course im okay the only thing that isnt is my physical
I slope into the same relapse until lack of oxygen kills me
Hmm i wonder
Why it feels so funny since i can’t breathe
I can’t breath
I can’t breath
I can’t breathe
I can’t breathe