Hrhghghhugvt self talking

Put my mind to do stuff and i just never achieve it the way i want. I dont care about other expectations i care about my own towards myself
I feel useless
If i died there would be no fucking impact on like anyone but i know its not true
I feel like punching the wall til my fists bleed and break
Its not smart and im not even that violent but i need some form of physical pain to take away from some of the anxiety (??) i feel right now
I dont feel hurtful to others i just want to like bash my head into a fucking table
It’s frustrating
Why do you think you feel that way? I dont know its just there
Its always there an underlying feeling of guilt or envy i dont even know what its like all the bad things are peeling away at me
Maybe you feel like that because of anxiety?
I mean yeah that’ll do it but theres something else causing it and i dont know what
Im tired of feeling like this no matter how much i up myself those feelings come back
Have you tried professional help for this? Talking to someone else may be beneficial
I did i had a therapist but that didnt even help not to mention she told me she’d rescheduled an appointment 5 months later i find out she quit
Talk about abandonment issues lolol
Not helping
Its true though, you act like thats not the first person who said something then disappeared
Hell you’ve gotten so use to that from people you do it to others
No i dont what do you mean?
You just leave conversations without saying bye, anytime you feel passionate about something eventually you just give it up? Hell you gave up trying to date people because of one abusive fucker who didnt deserve our time.
I know that okay i just dont feel comfortable with dating other people if you haven’t noticed im not exactly self stable enough to have to care about another person and you know we prioritize them
Thats true, we literally would het yelled at for them for talking to them to much just dor them to turn around and say were not being intimate enough or talking to them enough then when we amped it up we apparently were being to clingy
Bro couldnt make up his mind
Fuck him he deserves every bad thing he has coming for him
Woah thats a bit aggressive
So was he with us constantly, im not thinking about their situation if their just gonna push their abuse onto us
Thats not fair.
Yeah hes got a point
I know she is its just hard to kinda believe them
Even in the midst of a breakdown convo you guys still manage to use every pronoun so were not recognizable?
Gotta keep it a mystery!
Yeah you know that were a mystery entirely
So what say we go get the cheeseburgers in the fridge
Say I if your in
I
I
I
I!!