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I feel trapped in a storm of inadequacy, where every attempt to improve feels like it crumbles beneath the weight of my own expectations. No matter how hard I try, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m falling short of everything I want to be. And as I struggle, it seems like I’m pushing the people I care about further away, as if my failures are contagious and I’m dragging them down with me.
It’s like I’m constantly reminded of how flawed I am, how unworthy of being cared for. I feel like a terrible friend—someone who can’t give back what others deserve—and that makes it hard to believe I’m worth loving. But at the same time, I can’t stop falling in love, again and again, even when it feels hopeless. It’s this cruel contradiction: I crave love while convincing myself I’ll only ever ruin it.
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