put me in a movie ⚠️

nobody really asks for that sort of thing, well, i don't think i did. my words did say it was okay, but i don't think i really knew how much that would affect me. I don't even think i understood the weight of it all, i mean, who asks to be drawn that way? Or touched. Or talked to.
i don't really get it. There wasn't anything special about me to have this done to me. i was normal, like you. i wonder why it was okay for it to happen to me, but not to everyone else. i mean, i deserve to be a child too. but maybe i also deserved that, maybe i was just a bad person. things happen for a reason, right? These sorts of things only happen to bad people.
sometimes i feel like i deserved this, but i look at other people and i don't think they deserved it. nobody deserved that, especially not when you're 8 years old. I don't know anymore. I want to reason with myself. Surely, it must've had a reason.
I think it affected me more that i'd like to admit, i think thats why i do a lot of the things i do. That's how the saying goes, right? Hurt people hurt people. It hurts a lot, but i'm sure if i keep doing this, it'll stop hurting. It'll only hurt now, but it'll feel fine afterwards.
I hurt you because maybe you can understand my hurt, i hope you do.
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First person narrative, rough draft. Not beta read. Not proper either, more of an oc's thoughts.

OC brainstorm
- Organ transplant -> ship of theseus
- "dark" backstory
- harmful coping mechanism

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