Stalk Me

twisted freaking cycle path yandere volcel Pick a struggle

sometimes i wonder whqt my life could've been and i stay awake with the horrors of my past coming back to haunt me and i wonder and i wonder and i wonder and then i want to throw up because i feel sick but i can't remember what has happened to me and i can only assume ever since i was a child i was doomed from the start and i was ruined and nothing will ever be the same again and everything feels dirty because humans are inherently dirty and degenerative and disgusting and selfish and humans have tainted me and i'm sick and the illness won't go away no matter how hard i try because i lie in bed with these disgusting thoughts telling me i'm scum but what can i do... you loved me at one point right? i don't know, i'm still clinging onto that feeling even when it's been more than 5 years... i wonder if you think of me? I don't care if you drove me to be this way, i miss you more than i remember you ... i'm everything you said i was and more, and i'm still obsessed with you, because you were my first and only love. I really hate you but i really love you at the same time, i don't know what to feel , but i don't like that. I thought I was okay with you, but you exploited me more than i thought, and now i realize you were a big influence on the person i am today... i wonder if you know that. I wonder if you know i saw those images you drew of me, how perverted , you dragged me into this and it's your fault, but it's okay, because i'm a good person and I forgive you and i still love you like the pathetic dog i am, do you know that? You don't, because i blocked you... haha... hahahahahaha..... it's better to watch from afar, i don't desire to interact with you, it makes me nervous and afraid, but i still love you, at least i think i do, you were my only true love but you told me you dated me out of pity... am i still pitiful? Do you still wish to exploit me? Take advantage of me? Does it sicken you that i am ruined and my ideals of fiction has been shaped around how you treated me? I wonder a lot of things, maybe you're disgusted of me. I hope so, i want you to feel as sick as i do

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