modesty

something something religion something something i wish i've done a lot of things in life

i mean, my life is actually awesome and I thank god for the opportunities he has given me, for he has saved me when I'm at my lowest.

My biggest regret has been taking the lord for granted, and the multitude of times I've willingly led myself to sin just because I could.

When I went to confession, I really wanted to cry. This was the religion I defaced when I was younger, the religion I told myself was "unresonable" and that religion is "useless," and now I face god, my hands clasped, asking for forgiveness.

How selfish of me, for asking god to forgive a sinner like me. Asking god to show me mercy for the years I neglected him, and the priest's response?

He told me that god knows it was the right time for me to confess my sins, and I broke down. I've done so much, and yet god was more than willing to welcome me back. Telling me that even when days seem hard, when I struggle to believe in the good of humans, god will be there to help me. that's what god does.

That's how it goes, right? God forgives us, and i only hope the things i do are forgiven. I confessed my sins, I've done (most) of my penance, I just have to wait and see how life goes. I truly believe god still wants to accept me back, he's done so much good for me. even if my prayers seem desperate, a lot of them have been answered and i'm forever grateful.

I'm technically not a sinner anymore, but I know my sin was extreme. All I can do is continue with my penance and hope that my relationship with god is restored. I'm glad I'm going to mass again, I'm glad to go to church, i'm glad for a lot of things

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