Im being honest (Tw: vent, lgbtq+ stuff, internalized homophobia)
Yeah so I'm finally telling the truth. And I'm going to sound like a terrible person but I don't care. This is something that I have literally destroyed relationships because of, it haunts me every day, every hour, every second, and I want to talk about it. Internalized homophobia. For a bit now, I have dealt with really bad internalized homophobia. It's basically the only thing I can think about anymore, and I hate myself for liking women as a woman. Technically I am bi, but there is still part of me that likes women and it is killing inside. I can't stand queer culture, queer couples, anything to do with the LGBTQ+. It disgusts me. I think it's wrong. I know it's not, but there's always a little voice in the back of my head saying "ew why are 2 girls dating ew why are 2 men dating each other ew that person likes their own gender that's wrong" when I like my own gender. I'm literally part of this community. So i have no idea why I'm so homophobic, I'm surrounded by so many accepting people, so it dosent make sense. But it's always on my mind, hating myself every second because I like women. I know I shouldn't, and/but no matter what I do, no matter what I try, I'm always going to like women. I don't want to, I REALLY, REALLY don't want to and it's hurting me sm (mentally) but I needed to get this out. I've lied to everyone I love and care about that I'm straight now, whether that be my closest friends or even my gf, making us break up and putting her through sm (emotional) distress. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry to everyone that I ruined relationships with, I'm so sorry. You all deserve better. But I just thought that I should finally be honest because it's tearing me apart.
4 days ago 11 views 1 frames 1 Like
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