I don’t know how close they are, however I feel that this was necessary to say. I wish her the best, that he stays the hell away from her, that she’s able to recover from whatever pain/manipulation she’s been inflicted with, and that she’s able to grow to form her own informed opinions based on both empathy and logic. You brought this up with tact & understanding, and I appreciate it, unfortunately as outsiders there’s only so much that can be done, but good on you to bring awareness.

This doesn’t mean that everyone older than you who’s kind to you has hidden intentions, and it doesn’t mean that you can’t trust anyone or that everyone’s out to get you, but please think critically, realize the warning signs, keep yourself safe. I wish that not being taken advantage of wasn’t a responsibility/burden put on the kids, it breaks my heart to write this because the ADULTS who groom are the ones who should be staying the hell away, but unfortunately you have to look out for yourself and others. You are not any less special or worthy or capable without them, you do not NEED them, they do not NEED you, you deserve better.

Being manipulated does NOT make you stupid or naive or gullible, you are developing, and there are manipulation tactics that work on the smartest of people. If someone a whole lot older than you is putting a weird amount of energy into trying to make you feel special, keep things private, shower you with gifts, ask you favours, change your worldview; resist their special treatment, swallow your “I’m too smart/mature to be groomed”-pride, and get away from them.

It does not matter how “mature for your age” you are, if you’re under 18 and someone significantly older than you is telling you such, and showing a weird amount of interest in you, trying to privately talk to you: they do not want to be your friend, there are plenty of people their age they could be hanging out with, but maybe there is a reason their peers don’t want to be around them, and if they’re choosing to go for people younger than them, they know what they’re doing, they have a genuine physical (in their brain) developmental advantage over you.

This post is my only frame of reference for this whole thing, going to quickly preface that willful bigotry is disgusting, however there’s something no one seems to really be discussing. A 19-year old being friends with an 11 year old is ringing tons of alarm bells.