Sometimes I feel like a stranger in my own life.

My boyfriend and I have been on the rocks lately and it’s not looking too hot. And there’s so many things I should tell him about myself that I can’t. Like about my past, the things I’ve done, and how I used to uh…Y’know leave fun little marks on my arms with razor blades I found around.

But I can’t be honest with him. And when I was honest with him telling him about the strange relationship I had with someone on here. (You know who you are pookie.) I ended up crying like a baby about it and being vulnerable around him. And I don’t know if he’s mad at me or not. Why did I have to cry about it like that? Why do I have to be so sensitive? I’m not supposed to be a stupid crybaby, people won’t like me if I’m always crying.

I just want Matt to love me because I love him to. I just want to be loved honestly but I just don’t know how to be honest. Because it’s hard to be vulnerable because I’m scared of being hurt.

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  user: NULL

Im so sorry Zimick, it shouldn’t be a problem to you about showing your emotions. I understand how hard the past was on you and believe me i haven’t gotten over it either. But crying isn’t weakness, it shows that you aren’t scared to show that side of yourself and to not bottle up your emotions. Don’t do what i did and scarf them down, it led me to doing some pretty stupid shit to myself. Im sorry to see you struggle with telling Matt about your past and i understand the pressure, but if you ever need a shoulder to lean on im always here. ❤️

4 months ago   Reply

  theev@n

same with me and my girlfriend

4 months ago   Reply

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