Sometimes I feel like a stranger in my own life.
My boyfriend and I have been on the rocks lately and it’s not looking too hot. And there’s so many things I should tell him about myself that I can’t. Like about my past, the things I’ve done, and how I used to uh…Y’know leave fun little marks on my arms with razor blades I found around.
But I can’t be honest with him. And when I was honest with him telling him about the strange relationship I had with someone on here. (You know who you are pookie.) I ended up crying like a baby about it and being vulnerable around him. And I don’t know if he’s mad at me or not. Why did I have to cry about it like that? Why do I have to be so sensitive? I’m not supposed to be a stupid crybaby, people won’t like me if I’m always crying.
I just want Matt to love me because I love him to. I just want to be loved honestly but I just don’t know how to be honest. Because it’s hard to be vulnerable because I’m scared of being hurt.
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