Yapping (not really a lot)

I don’t know how to feel really. I thought becoming a man would make me seem less weak, but instead I get called things like “femboy” “chopped” “pathetic” and they say things like “you’ll never be a real man” “stop wining so much, that’s not what real men do”. I keep getting touched and assaulted and cat called, and tbh I’m used to it. The only way I cope is cutting myself, it makes me feel alive, I get called a freak for it, I get called a freak for anything I like. I might be a masochist, but I won’t make that decision yet. I rip my hair out and cry myself to sleep wondering why I haven’t bought a rope and chair yet. Or heck, filled the tub and drowned myself. Why can’t life be normal..? I’m not saying it should be easy, but people could be less shitty. Sometimes I wish I could go somewhere else, and not have to worry about how fucked up some people can be.

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