I think I might... (take a bite.)

I'm nothing but a pathetic man, and I still feel a burning passion deep in my heart no matter how much time as passed. There is nothing in the world to compare to you and I won't ever understand it. You know that you drive me crazy and I wonder if you use it to your advantage. Even after all these years believing we hated each other deeply, you talked to me as if nothing has happened between us. Do you ever think about how much I loved you then, and how obessed I've become now? I'm a liar, and I lied to you. It was never the past, and nothing about my desire has changed. Five years is a long time, but I have never forgotten a single thing about you. I drove you away from me, and we're back to where I never want to begin. We will never go back to how we were before, but you shared new secrets to me, and I shared mines to you. No matter what happens, I am stuck to you again.

It's honestly stupid how much you affect me, I have never been the kind of guy to want to talk to people in the first place. You were an exception, and you only found out yesterday. You don't know what I'd do for you, and it's pathetic. An online relationship I had in 2019, and I'm still horribly hung up on you. I'm a weak man, but only towards you and it's disgusting. I've hated you so badly before, and I know it's unreasonable for me. But everything you do makes me freeze, how could I not think that about you? You tell me you don't know why I loved you, I tell you a lie because I'd look stupid if I told you why. Our conversation yesterday was nothing romantic, reminiscing about the past only occasionally but I'm tearing at bits and pieces again. Every new thing has me shaken and I've never felt excitement like this in years. It's all stupid and illogical, you're illogical. Nothing like the people I made myself love, nothing like the girls I adored now.

whatever it's all stupid and I'm now forever single because 😂no one is like her and I'd rather stay pure than attempt anything with her again

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