VENT || trigger warning: uhh, very aggressive language and self harm

IMPORTANT UPDATE yes, I'm over this now, it went away by its own

let's start it off with the obvious stuff; I'm a conservative christian man, 14, and just now I'm waking up, I wasn't always conservative, I was leftist, "woke" as some of you may call it

the thing is, after all of this, after my switch, I feel like people have been treating me differently, I try to help people who are clearly brainwashed, but every time I try to they hit the block button, this app has made it so those types of people keep on being brainwashed and if someone tries to help them they just hit one button to silence them, I'll admit, we're not perfect, we have our flaws, I'm not a perfect being, I've committed many stuff in the past, and that doesn't excuse me, however, I feel like just now my mental health is dropping, it's taking a toll on me, and it just got worse as this is my 2nd time being blocked by someone, and this isn't the last time it'll happen, it'll happen over, and over, and over again, and each time I get worse and worse, to the point I have to seek out things to deal with them, I've barely gotten in into puberty, I can't deal with this, and I'll admit something; I've had suicidal thoughts for many days now, hell, even weeks, months, I sometimes want to slit my throat open with a rusty knife and die bleeding, but I'm too much of a coward to do it, I can't handle the pain, I feel powerless, like the world is collapsing and I'm forced to see it all without being able to do anything, I don't know what to do, this is just a vent

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