Uhhh is it a bad thing that I kinda fantasize getting bullied by some people at school and then someone comes to save me from them???
I don't know why, but the thought of someone "strong" saving the "patheticly weak little" me from the "big bad bullies" feels genuinely ..comforting ???
And don't get me wrong, I have had my fair share of experience of getting bullied. It wasnt all from the same person though.
Girl 1- for about 2.5 years. Since we were only kids, around 6/7/8 years old it wasnt too bad, just teasing, ripping up my drawings that I worked hard on, pushing me around, and saying nasty things. But afterwards, she then jsut started ignoring me and giving me dirty looks.
Girl 2- 8 months. She joined a bit later in my class, but she was probably the WORST female person I've ever met. I really don't want to say what she's done, but she was horrible. I'm so glad that she changed schools, cause I genuinely feared her every single day I went to school.
Boy 1- 3 years. Bruh, I'm not even kidding when I say this, but he was a total DICKHEAD. He absolutely DESTROYED my self esteem (which then took over 2 years for me to recover from) He used to constantly make fun of me, for every single thing I did. He made fun of me for being weak, and fat. He made fun of me cause I was a girl. I still remember how he laughed at me. He'd constantly push me and shove me whenever he passed by. And he'd make fun of me with his friends. I think I was 11 one time when he made fun of me for being fat. I was 50kg. I felt so hurt and literally starved myself bruhhh 😿 and I was 38kg after that. I feel so stupid now. Why did I do that cause of what he said?
And of course, the worst, for last.
Fycking Nathan. 10 months. Despite the short time, he's the worst out of everyone else.I hate that guy so much. I fucking hate him like no one else . He's the worst. He changed me for who I was. I literally cannot explain just how bad I want to kill him with my bare hands. Just thinking about him makes me want to throw up in disgust and anger. He absolutely ruined me. He's the worst person to ever exist in my life. I have talked about it to some people about him, I don't think I mentioned his name, but yeah. He pushed me to the edge of wanting to kms.
ANYWAYS.
I got too carried away lols, this isn't meant to be a vent post 🥲🥲
In short, about bullying.
It's not fun. It got so bad that I legit wanted to off myself. Thankfully, ever since I changed schools, I haven't been bullied once🥹🥹
But then at the same time, I kinda liked how weak I felt and how desperate I felt when I was bullied. Especially when things got physical. I kinda liked the feeling of being choked by Nathan, and seeing my vision blur. It was scary. But in an ethereal way??? It's weird. But I'm just disappointed that nobody came to save me.
8 hours ago 19 views 12 frames 3 Like
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