Blade yapping Volt’s ears off (mostly about seals)

“ Seals are these gloriously blubbery, torpedo-shaped marine mammals that look like nature tried to design a dog, a sausage, and a water balloon at the same time and somehow made it work, because in the ocean they transform from awkward, wiggling land blobs into impossibly graceful swimmers that can dive hundreds of meters deep, slow their heart rate, and glide through freezing water thanks to a thick layer of insulating fat called blubber, which also makes them look permanently overstuffed and mildly offended!! There are many kinds—true seals with no visible ears that scoot on their bellies, and eared seals like sea lions that can sort of walk on land—but all of them share those enormous liquid eyes, twitchy whiskers sensitive enough to detect tiny vibrations from fish, and a tendency to pile onto rocks or ice floes in enormous, noisy cuddle-heaps that smell absolutely horrific if you get close! Despite their cute appearance, they are efficient predators that swallow fish whole, can hold their breath for astonishing lengths of time, and will absolutely bark, honk, or scream like malfunctioning kazoos at anything they find suspicious, which makes their whole vibe a bizarre mix of adorable plush toy and loud, slippery ocean gremlin!!! :D” - B

“I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK.” - V

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7 hours ago 6 views 2 frames