And i feel like everything i see is bullshit to me

I really dont wanna deal with everything thats happening right now

Why not?
I mean, nobody is perfect, I get what you’re saying, but in my perspective you are an amazing person!
There is nothing wrong with you to me! You were always so kind and helpful!
When things went wrong, you stood up for yourself! You always keep going!
You help people when times are tough and you helped me A LOT!
You are the reason I’m still here basically!

Bc im different from everyone else and I can never fit in

What makes you say that?