I’m sorry you feel like this
Just please know that there’s someone in this world that will always care for you no matter what. I can completely understand what you’re feeling and what it’s like, please think of everyone that has ever cared for you and think about those memories
Something that usually helped me was hiding underneath my favourite, thick blanket. That may not work for you but it also may help you feel a slight bit better or at least to cry. Letting all your emotions out can be very helpful for times like this
I hope you get better soon