Gosh...I’m sorry winter I really am I feel so bad for you..I understand how it feels for a close family member dying,my grandma died 3 years ago...look at me now...I changed...she be so disappointed in me...my grandfather is cause I am like my mom..a lesbian...my grandma passed from breast and bone cancer,she hid the fact that she had that for 7 years,and still remembering that person till today hurts you even more,i understand complete how you feel winter,we all do,I’m so sorry again,it hurts even more when you love a family member but they have been murdered,I could never understand how that could feel,for me,it hurts so much,till I start to cry about my grandma