EVIL beanz

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ISFJ | 16 | filipino | they✌️ here since late 2019
doodle posting. follow my instagram for art
https://rentry.co/cocobeanz (strawpage soon)
SORRY IF I DONT REPLY TO CERTAIN COMMENTS just know that I appreciate all compliments 🥹🫶 ty
⚠️ WARNING before opening my comments, sometimes there is mild suggestive/nsfw talk or allusions to it in my rambles.... so just be warned if u decide to lurk lol

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  EVIL beanz

Lmao I knew you wanted to h...

Honestly, you coming back wasn't an issue in itself, for me it was the way you went about it. Deep down I have always been wanting to contact you peacefully and get closure over what happened for a few years now, but your repeated refusal to take accountable ESPECIALLY for your seasian racism in the past was what kept me from doing so.

I'm happy that you've moved past your homophobia. I'm happy that you found people one twitter that appreciate your art. But it will never not bother me that you never properly admitted to the things you said in the past.

3 months ago   Reply
  EVIL beanz

EVIL beanz

Ughhh, fuck. Sorry if this comes off as guilt tripping or just me trauma dumping, but it's hard to be sincere without getting into all the background context to get a clear picture of what happened in my perspective. I am DEAD SERIOUS when I say that I really don't blame you at all for what happened, you were a victim of super, super gross over-dramatisation of absolutely deplorable joke. I don't find your resentment for me unreasonable in this regard, and I perfectly understand if you don't want to forgive me for this. I do have a lot more to say in regards to other things, but this really is something I've wanted to get off my chest for a while now. (4/4)

3 months ago   Reply
  EVIL beanz

EVIL beanz

Which is why I believed them. Why I believed their jokes. I believed you were trying to groom me.

It's genuinely awful to think about. I was naive, I allowed my "friends" at the time to spread an absolutely DANGEROUS rumour about you liking me. I was genuinely scared of you, scared of the possibility of it being real even though it really wasn't- and I should have known that. Everyone believed it. It just sort of ended up as this domino effect, and I truly wish it didn't, I wish things never ended up this way. You just wanting to draw fanart for me a little eargerly never should have warranted something like that to happen. (3/4)

3 months ago   Reply (1)
  EVIL beanz

EVIL beanz

To be honest, I still look back at my 11 year old self with a lot of regrets and hatred, even though the circumstances were understandable given that it was the peak of the pandemic. This app was my only form of social media I could access; my parents weren't even aware that this app had posting and community features, so my presence on here was essentially a secret (And still is). Contacting my school friends became too much for my anxiety to handle, so after cutting contact with them my "friends" on here at the time were really the only bit of social interaction i had left that I was comfortable with; but in hindsight, looking back at it now a lot of them were just as equally misguided, lost, lonely kids trying to cope with the pandemic as I was. (2/4)

3 months ago   Reply (1)
  EVIL beanz

Lmao I knew you wanted to h...

Ah, okay. I'll stop. If genuine closure is what you want out of me, then I'll give it to you. It's only fair.

I'm sorry, I truly do regret everything from 2020. And I'm sorry it's taken this long to be concrete with you about it. (1/?)

3 months ago   Reply (1)
  EVIL beanz

Lmao I knew you wanted to h...

0_0! oh ok WOW u said a lot😭 sigh. I wont be able to properly respond until like 12 hours later from now because I just woke up and have to go to school soon but don't try deleting your comments or anything okayy lol😇

4 months ago   Reply (1)
  EVIL beanz

luka

DID HE DELETED HIS ACCOUNT I CANT FIND IT ANYMORE🥀 I WANTED TO MAKE FUN OF HIM MORE NOOOO

4 months ago   Reply (1)
  EVIL beanz

luka

I CANT BREAYHE

4 months ago   Reply (1)
  EVIL beanz

luka

FUCKING INSANE THING TO COMMENT HELLO

4 months ago   Reply (1)
  EVIL beanz

luka

OH oh. Oh.......... is it who I think it is

4 months ago   Reply (1)
  EVIL beanz

@Samus (abdel)

bruh I got a notification earlier today that someone commented on one of my posts twice but it got deleted before I could see it.... was it on here. did abdel fucking comment a reply and then delete it. AGAIN

4 months ago   Reply
  EVIL beanz

idgaf cus i'm a millionaire 😛

oh my god who's post did you see that could have possibly prompted this😭 but i agree LOL

4 months ago   Reply (2)
  EVIL beanz

the post where i talk to myself like a lunatic

ugh. I hate bedrotting though, I don't like the feeling of being unproductive....🙁 I'd rather do schoolwork all throughout the day than just stay at home doing nothing but doomscroll

4 months ago   Reply
  EVIL beanz

the post where i talk to myself like a lunatic

Ughhh so much homework so much studying.. so evil... everyday i suffer. I just want to draw tenna all day🍭🍭 and play with my TOUYS

4 months ago   Reply
  EVIL beanz

EVIL beanz

Didn't realise I commented on the wrong post instead of my actual rant one😭😭 oops

4 months ago   Reply
  EVIL beanz

EVIL beanz

🥲🥲🥲🥲maybe I can... finally... finally finish my chiikawa baby post

4 months ago   Reply
  EVIL beanz

regarding the 2020 abdel grooming situation

CLASSES I THINK JUST GOT SUSPENDED AGAIN I WIN I WIN I WIN

4 months ago   Reply (2)
  EVIL beanz

Narancia If You Out There

ITS OK GOAT I have a lot of senior high assessments so I am also dying😭 u can just leave some open from time to time and I might be there ocassionally 🍭🍭🍭

4 months ago   Reply
  EVIL beanz

regarding the 2020 abdel grooming situation

RELISTING AGAIN🙂 STOP TRYING TO COME BACK VRO THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING

4 months ago   Reply