(Lol)

Guard 2: Is that backpack an anomaly?
*he holds it up to you*

Me: ...
*my head drops and a glare at the floor of the helicopter*

Guard 2: No. We're just doing our job to protect people like you.

Me: Screw it! Now, just- just because some SCPs tried to kill us, we get to be prisoners all our lives and-and go into rooms with hostile entities!? THANK YOU VERY MUCH, YOU GUARDS ARE SO KIND!!!!

Guard 2: We won't trust you

Guard 2: We don't have to trust you...

Me: !...

Guard 2: And how do we know you'll keep your mouth shut?

Me: W-wait! I don't want to go there! I didn't see anything! There were no plague doctors!

Guard 2: You're both coming with us!
*he motions to a couple other guards aand they grab me and you and take us to a helicopter*

(Btw I'm probably at least twice the size of the bag if not bigger)

*I unzip the bag slowly and crawl out*

Me: Okay! Okay, I'll get out!

Guard 2: ON THE COUNT OF THREE IF YOU ARE NOT OUT AND ON THE GRASS I WILL HAVE THESE MEN SHOOT THE BAG FULL OF HOLES WHILE YOU ARE IN IT!!

Me: I'm not coming out!

Guard 2: Get out with your hands up and don't make any sudden movements!

*the zipper zips closed by itself and the guard turns to it with his gun*

(Should I name my guard Gaurd 2?)

Guard: oh really? That d-class just looked in it. There's no way anyone could fit in it, especially after I had her check